Posts Tagged ‘son’
Falling in Love with Reality
To the boy that grew only in my heart, I still think about you sometimes. Not as often as I did in the beginning. But sometimes when things get lonely and dark you wander into my mind. You stand there smiling at me. Sometimes you talk to me and tell me all the things you love. Sometimes you show me your favorite toys. Sometimes you teach your little brother things and I watch him look up to you in awe as you take care of him. Sometimes you play with…
Read MoreMy Son, You are Different
My son, you are different. Different in the most best possible way. I realized that today. You are not like the other kids. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Not in anyway. You are the brave one. Because you have no fear about being exactly who you are. We were at the park. The cool one in the neighborhood. At least that’s what your brother says. We finally convinced you to walk over there. You were scared at first. We had to make some new turns. Go farther…
Read MoreHow do I Change the World for my Son?
Lately, my son has been having some pretty huge wins. Ginormous actually. He went down his first waterslide. He laughed and flapped the whole way down. And then went five more times. He bowled. All ten frames. I had no idea he even knew what a bowling ball was! He went to an arcade for the first time. He’s never set foot in one before. He never melted down. Or bolted. He just wandered ‘closely’ by while his brother played games. It was amazing. He went to a sit-down restaurant.…
Read MoreMy Son will Grow up to be….
There are moments we experience, which follow us, entering our thoughts when we least expect, and weaving together with other pieces of our journey to shape us, give us pause, make us think…evolve…and create purpose as we move forward. When I was pregnant with Leo, I went for a 3D ultrasound session at 27 weeks, hoping to get a sneak peek of the sweet baby I would soon be holding in my arms. Everything about that day remains vivid and clearly outlined in my memory. Watching my boy on the…
Read MoreBeauty in the Smallest Things
It’s hard to put into words what it is like to give your everything and more to a little person who cannot call you Mom. I do know it is a lesson in unconditional love to the highest degree. I have this little boy. He has autism, but he is so much more than that. He is a living breathing example of all that is pure and all that is good in this world. He has taught me that the smallest things truly do take up the most space in…
Read MoreA Letter to My Boy on His Birthday
Dear son, On the eve of your 4th Birthday, I want you to know that you are loved beyond measure plus infinity forever. Autism has nothing to do with the fact that I am blessed to be your Mama. The love and joy that you have brought to my life is beyond anything I could ever have imagined. You make me smile EVERY single day. When I saw you for the first time, I couldn’t believe how beautiful and perfect you were, and I feel the same way today. You…
Read MoreA Harsh Reality
That moment when you realize your child’s diagnosis is far worse than you originally thought. It was almost as if I couldn’t catch my breath. Like someone was choking me. I cried as if someone had died. It sounds harsh, but trust me when I say that’s how it felt. I always knew my son Isaiah was special. From the moment he was born, I knew my boy was going to be somewhat different and not live a completely “normal” life. That was my Mom gut instinct. He was born…
Read MoreI have a Date with my Boy
I have a date tonight. At 4:30. Right after school. We are going to go train hunting. Me and my boy. He has a ticket. Well, actually it’s a piece of paper that I wrote on this morning. But to him, it’s a ticket. A reminder. Something he can hold onto. And treasure. Something he can show his teachers. And keep with him all day. I am going to pick him. I am going to bring snacks and drinks. I know he will burst out the doors smiling. Running. My…
Read MoreThe Greatest Teacher
It was a beautiful, sunny April day last year when Autism first became a part of our lives. It was in the last few days of Autism Awareness Month that we were presented with my son Jack’s suspected diagnosis of Autism and we would begin our journey on the spectrum. His diagnosis would be confirmed a month later at an appointment with our developmental pediatrician- a last minute appointment we were lucky to get almost seven months early due to a cancellation and our ability to be there with short…
Read MoreI’ll Never Give Up On Him
I remember attending a speech therapy play session at the start of our autism journey. My son Freddie was 3 years old. He’d officially been diagnosed just over 6 months previous to this. I was excited and nervous. The autism world was all still fairly new. I didn’t really understand what or how severe autism was going to affect Freddie. I’d never heard of low functioning autism, and googling severe autism left me feeling hopeless. I reminded myself that Freddie was still so young. I was in denial. I thought…
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