Posts Tagged ‘siblings and autism’
Nobody Ever Told Me: Navigating Life with a ‘Forever Child
Nobody ever told me that when I brought children into this world that there was a possibility that I may have a “forever child”. Of course, all three of my children are forever mine. However, one will forever be with me until I can no longer care for her on my own. Nobody ever told me I would teach my child to talk and that I would hear those words come from her early. I would see small gestures come from her tiny hands to accompany those words…only to have…
Read MoreA Special Bond: Navigating Friendship and Autism with His Cousin
I don’t know if my son has anyone who considers him their friend, besides his cousin. If you ask Jesse who his best friend is, he says, “Lukas.” It’s not always mutual though. Although, it used to be. My son is autistic and eight years old. He is 18 months older than his cousin. When he was a toddler, he used to adore his little baby cousin, Lukas. They grew up together as toddlers and littles, wrestling and laughing. And Lukas looked up to J as his big cousin. He…
Read MoreAutism, Aggression, and the Power of Remembrance
Every night I lay with my son until he falls asleep. I’ve done this since he was a baby. I sneak out of his room and reset our home for the next morning. Tonight while we were laying down he said to me. “You cried in the month of June, on a Thursday, you ran away to the sun room, and I came to tell you sorry.” I said “why did I cry buddy?” He turned his head to face away from me on his pillow and replied “because I…
Read MoreFinding the Light: Hope and Understanding for Families with Autistic Children
The comment read, ‘for some families, there is no light at the end of the tunnel.’ I thought about it all night. And when my toddler woke up at midnight for a hug, and then again while I drank my coffee and watched the news. I thought back to our hardest days when there was no apparent light at the end of the tunnel. Our autistic son didn’t sleep longer than 45 minutes at a time and we started every day at 3 am. We lived in this place of…
Read MoreBound by Love: Navigating Motherhood with My Colorful Boy
From the very beginning of it all, you have been mine. My heart outside my chest. And I’d have given anything to be your person. For so long I prayed to be given a glimpse into your world. I just wanted to sit next to you, and you not shy away. I wanted to play next to you with bubbles, cars and blocks, and not cause you to shift activities, preferring your own company. For so long I was losing sleep, worrying that we wouldn’t ever be able to be…
Read MoreDoes He Understand Everything I Say?
‘Does he understand everything I say? Because sometimes I can’t tell mom.’ My oldest son Cooper was diagnosed with autism at age three. It wasn’t a surprise by the time the psychologist said the words out loud. He had no words. He didn’t play with toys or acknowledge other kids. He flapped his arms and never stopped moving. He seemed to dislike sleep. Technology was his world. It was as if this world made absolutely zero sense to him. Severe, level three autism with a language impairment. That’s what the…
Read MoreA Girl and Her Dog: A Lifeline for a Young Autistic Girl
A young girl encased in a world that requires predictability and a peaceful space finds it really difficult to accept interactions unless she is the one initiating them. When my daughter was little, we had two dogs. She didn’t seem to notice or have a need to be near either one of them. Occasionally, she would allow the smaller dog to lay near her, but she didn’t necessarily connect with him. Both dogs had a sense that they needed to be calm in her presence and would not initiate contact…
Read MoreStrength in Adversity: Navigating Autism as a Mother of Four
As a mom of four, one with autism, life has many challenges. Balancing a child with special needs along with three other children can be difficult. Growing up in a busy household filled with love and laughter, but with the unpredictable chaos that autism can bring in an instant, was not easy. It was ever-changing, and they were constantly going through the ups and downs that this life can bring. I know that living this life beside their sister made them stronger and more empathetic people. There was lots of…
Read MoreA Difficult Decision: Splitting Up for Disneyland, Leaving One Behind
As I ascended the stairs onto the aircraft, I knew our decision was the right one. Leaving our son, Rhys, at home, while we took our other two children to Disneyland, was a hard decision to make, but in our world these tough decisions are what we face daily. We live life differently because my son is autistic and this world is not designed to make it easy. I thought back to many occasions where Rhys’ brother had been so excited for a day trip and then only allowed to…
Read MoreInvisible Disabilities: How You Can Help Kids Like My Son
People ask me all the time how they can help. Kind people. Loving people. Strangers. Friends. Family. People on this page. I speak about that out of control feeling that happens when my son starts struggling. When his big feelings about waiting or sitting overwhelm him. Or when the noise is too much and the lights are too bright or he smells something in the air that you and I can’t make out. Maybe we are in line at the grocery store. Or at a park. Or in the paper…
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