Posts Tagged ‘severe autism’
Is He Happy?
‘Everyone has a different idea of what happiness looks like.’ Is my son happy? I think about that a lot. As do many parents of children who struggle to communicate. Who can’t show us. For a lot of years I honestly didn’t know the answer to that question. At age 5 my son didn’t laugh or smile much. He didn’t enjoy leaving our house. At home, he isolated himself a lot. He didn’t play or interact really. He was full of anxiety, only we didn’t know because anytime we asked…
Read MoreLoving Him Through His Hard
My sweet boy is having a sad night and he is unable to tell us why. We are doing everything we can to figure out the why and the what but no luck so far. It’s the hardest part of nonverbal/nonspeaking for me as a parent so I can’t even imagine how hard it is for him. Does he not feel well? Does something hurt? Is he getting sick? Is he scared? Worried? Sad? Does he miss someone? Was someone mean to him? There are a million and one questions…
Read MoreThe Air was Filled With Sounds
I just got home from a car ride with my son Cooper. A rare time where it was just the two of us. The ride, taking 30 minutes, was joyful. He showed me an excavator. An airplane. And more than a dozen semi trucks. He moo’d at cows. Showed me a fire truck on his Kindle screen. And then tapped his chest, letting me know that he wants to ride a fire truck. He danced. And waved. He giggled at penguins on his screen before showing me how they waddle.…
Read MoreKeep Trying
We used to not be able to safely ride in the car as a family. Let that sink in for a moment. We had to take two cars, Jamie and I separating the boys, or one of us had to ride in the back with the kids and even then it wasn’t all that safe. At one point we had to have a safety plan. We couldn’t turn left. Or stop at stoplights. Road construction was the worst. Slowing down wasn’t allowed. I’d tell friends that we couldn’t go through…
Read MoreNow I Want Strong and Happy
I just spent two whole days in a swim suit at a water park. At 38 years old. As a mother of four. And I found myself remembering back when. Back when I rocked a bikini and had no insecurities. I saw fit people and bigger people and thin people and athletic people. Some were covered in tattoos and some with piercings. Some were in one piece swimsuits and some in bikinis. Some were covered up and some were not. Some were confident and owned it and some were not.…
Read MoreA Delicate Balance
I think about the beginning sometimes. When I first heard the word autism. It was in a lunch-and-learn at the nonprofit I worked at. I was eating a sandwich, minimally paying attention, when the woman started describing signs of autism in toddlers. As she ticked off a list of traits, I did everything I could to keep my cool. The only sign of my internal panic being the flush that turned my cheeks and neck a deep red. I could feel the heat radiating from my face. She was describing…
Read More“Disabled Orphans Fleeing Kyviv”
The article about Ukraine read: “Disabled orphans fleeing Kyiv received by Poles, Hungarians.” I was scrolling Facebook, two of my three kids snuggled up on the couch next to me. My baby was at my feet playing blocks. And my oldest, sleeping. He had a long day. A tiring one. “While many of those fleeing are able-bodied adults, choosing to brave long and sometimes dangerous journeys to bring themselves and their families to safety, other Ukrainians are at the mercy of their caregivers to deliver them out of danger.” I…
Read MoreCommunication is a Gift
I think a lot about communication. More than the average person I’d say. I think about how important it is. Vital. For a person to be able to say their name and ask for help and tell someone when their stomach hurts. I used to think communication had to be verbal. Because that’s all I knew. But then I became a mom to a little boy who opened my heart and mind and ears to a whole knew world. My son Cooper is now 11 years old. He communicates with…
Read MoreWe Can’t Stop Talking About Autism
What if we stopped talking about autism? I think about that sometimes. There will be times, like last night, where I will feel like it’s just too complicated. Maybe, it would be easier to not share. To not advocate. To hide even. ‘There was none of this autism stuff when I was younger!’ That’s a sentence I’ve heard more times than I can count from people. Some well meaning. Genuinely curious about it. And some, well, who think it’s a discipline issue. A bad child. A lazy parent. The thing…
Read MoreI Don’t Want to Fight Anymore
Every morning I wake up to messages from people. Most are well-meaning. Many are kind. A few are awful. Some are bizarre. And some, tell me how to raise my son. And how I’m doing it wrong. They tell me what I should be doing, how I can do it better, and what I can and cannot say about him. I’ve gathered a list of what I cannot say. I cannot say he has autism. Or is autistic. I can’t say he is nonverbal or nonspeaking. I can’t say he…
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