Posts Tagged ‘severe autism’
In the Blink of an Eye
When I pictured my life 10 years ago kids were not in the picture. I just could not picture myself as a mom, then one almost breast augmentation later, I was pregnant with my first. Finding that out on the operating table was one of the most comical experience I’ve been through – let’s just say plastic surgeons are not used to telling people they are pregnant! Nonetheless, now I am a mom to two beautiful boys. Our road to getting here has not been easy, my husband is an…
Read MoreThey Call him a Monster
When you share your world like I do, you see, read, and hear things that are unbelievable. Things that make me physically ill. Evil finds us. Hate finds us. Which is hard to believe. I just share my kids. Our life. Our funny, beautiful life. And yet they call him a monster. They say he’s a waste. That he’s dangerous. That he’s much worse. Just because he has autism. A diagnosis. A label. A word. An explanation. Not an excuse. Something he was born with. He thinks a little differently.…
Read MoreWhat About After Forever Mom?
Last night I took Sawyer to pick out gift bag goodies for his birthday party. He had so much to say. Riding in the car produces some of my favorite memories with Sawyer. ‘Which is more mom? 16 or 14?’ 16 bud. ‘What is 6 plus 4? It’s 10 mom. How did you not know that?’ I did know that Sawyer. You didn’t let me answer. ‘What friends are coming to my birthday party on Saturday? Wait, let me say their names.’ ‘Lucas, Derek, Braden, Kellen….pause. Mom, did you know…
Read MoreA Week of Forevers
This week was a mixed bag. Or maybe, a grab bag. I guess I don’t really know what it was but I’m confident the word bag should be included. Maybe. It was hard and good, happy and hopeless, hopeful and unrelenting, energized and bone-weary. It simultaneously flew by and seemed like it would never end. In short, it was a normal week. Our new normal, anyway. On any given day I felt that our life was certain to be filled with nothing but trying to push our sweet boy up…
Read MoreParenting a Child with Nonverbal Autism
You will forever have hope that the next year will be when they begin to talk, then you realize it been almost 18 years since the diagnosis. Many years ago, right after Jake was diagnosed, my heart hurt, and I was seeking how to express who my sweet boy was. So I wrote this poem. Looking back on my writing, I truly had no idea the journey ahead of us, but it’s played out just like I wrote, so many years ago. A poem for my son. My boy, Jake…
Read MoreCreating a Sensory Friendly Space
One of the pieces of advice I have received over the years from therapists, educators and even parents of adult autistic children, was to make our home sensory friendly. In my mind that sounded overwhelming. Did that mean more stuff in my living room? Did that mean spending more money on stuff my son wouldn’t use or even try? I already felt like our house was kid friendly. It was covered in toys, Legos, balls, and Nerf Gun bullets. We had kid size chairs, blankets and fidgets every where. Wasn’t…
Read MoreThank You to the Man who Chose Himself
Thank you to the man who chose himself over his child: Being a single mom is really hard. Being a single mom to a special needs child is next level. I never realized the strength I had inside of me. You helped me release these very primal instincts when it comes to our son, that I had no idea existed. I share such a rare and special bond with him because he is all I had for so long. It was just he and I everyday. There isn’t a person…
Read MoreThe Child Before the Diagnosis
We were standing on our patio and a plane flew close above us. It was loud and very easy to spot. “Look guys, a plane!” My 20 month old son followed my finger and he pointed too and smiled, “Ah, plann,” he said. I smiled with him. It looked nice against the crisp sky with everything around us covered in snow. I looked over at my daughter who had her back to us and was smiling too. She was still looking opposite us into the sky searching for a plane.…
Read MoreI Wished this Version of Autism didn’t Exist
Unanswered questions and the fear of the unknown, Kept me awake at night and I felt so alone. People saying, “He’ll grow out it”, or Autism is a gift, Had no idea what they were saying, I wished this version of Autism didn’t exist. Robbing a child of their voice and basic life skills isn’t being blessed, It’s heartbreaking to watch, and leaves you all feeling distressed. Advocates and other Autism Mum’s may isolate you for being negative, They claim that to the ‘Autism world’ you’re being insensitive. Maybe it’s…
Read MoreWhen I Think about Reality
When I was pregnant with our third baby, Jamie and I would talk about our worries over introducing another little one to the family. There were two of us. There would be three of them. We’d be going from man-to-man to zone defense. But there was more to it than just that. Our son Cooper, who was 7 at the time, and now 8, didn’t have any self care. That means we dress him. We put his shoes on. We still feed him many of his meals. He doesn’t grab…
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