What About After Forever Mom?


Last night I took Sawyer to pick out gift bag goodies for his birthday party. He had so much to say.

Riding in the car produces some of my favorite memories with Sawyer.

‘Which is more mom? 16 or 14?’

16 bud.

‘What is 6 plus 4? It’s 10 mom. How did you not know that?’

I did know that Sawyer. You didn’t let me answer.

‘What friends are coming to my birthday party on Saturday? Wait, let me say their names.’

‘Lucas, Derek, Braden, Kellen….pause. Mom, did you know I’m growing up?’

Yes bud. I know you are.

‘How old will you be mom when I’m 18?’

I’ll be 47. Welp.

‘Yeah that’s old.’

Thanks Sawyer.

‘I’m 76 mom. I’m super old.’

76 isn’t as old as you think Sawyer. It just feels that way.

‘Don’t forget we need to read a book every single night for the rest of my life mom.’

Ok Sawyer. You got it.

‘Did you know that I’m going to live in an apartment some day mom?’

You are?

‘Yep. When I’m 18. I’m going to live with my friend Derek.’

‘Will you be sad mom? Who will help me get dressed? Who will drive me to school? We are going to have a hot tub in the living room!’

Well bud, of course I’ll be sad. I don’t want you to leave.

‘But you’ll have Cooper forever mom. I heard you and dad talking about it.’

Well yes. That’s a possibility. He might, er, um, well yes, probably live with us forever.

‘That’s good. I really don’t want you to be sad when I leave.’


‘What about after forever mom? After you are gone? Who will take care of my brother then? Do I have to take care of him?’

Well, Sawyer, we don’t worry about that right now.


‘I guess maybe he could live in my apartment. But maybe not. Do I get to choose mom? Do I get to choose where he lives? You’ll be in heaven? Right mom?’

You Sawyer can choose whatever feels right for you honey. And that may change many, many times. And the good thing is we have a long time until we have to think about it.

Forever is a long time away Sawyer. Mom and dad will take care of Cooper as long as he needs us too.

‘Maybe Harbor and Cooper can live with me. Maybe we can all take care of each other.’

‘I really like piñatas mom. Maybe I’ll have one in my apartment. Wouldn’t that just be the best mom?’

Yes, Sawyer. That would be pretty great.

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Featured image taken by Tiffany Lynn Photography.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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