Posts Tagged ‘severe autism’
Not the Life I Pictured
Some kids go to hockey practice and baseball games. Or theater or an art show. Play dates and birthday parties. That’s what a parent imagines. Cooper and I used to have nothing like that. No outings. No games. Oh how I longed for something. Anything. A place that we could go to together. Now we go to speech together. We go to grocery stores and Target too. We visit places in our community. We visit parking lots just to learn about cars and strangers and practice waving. We always seem to…
Read MoreI had Plans for us Kid
I had plans as a mother. Big plans. Plans that I can admit didn’t include autism. Even today, after 8 years, sometimes I still find myself wondering how my plans got so derailed. How we got here. I’ll be giving my son a bath, washing his feet, and I’ll look up at him eating bubbles, throwing his head back, smiling, squealing, and I’ll wonder how this happened. Or he’ll be having a meltdown, self injuring, and screaming over turning left, a walk to the park or a crinkle in his…
Read MoreShow your Kids the World
When we bought a house in a neighborhood full of kids I told my husband we are either making the biggest mistake ever…or we are going to change Cooper’s life. At the time, Cooper paid no attention to kids. He hated noise and chaos. He didn’t like a full house. Overnight Sawyer made friends. In and out they came. So many kids Cooper’s age. Older and younger. Our living room and kitchen full of little voices asking for snacks. By the end of day one we found Cooper in the…
Read MoreSpecial Needs Parenting Changes Us Entirely
Special needs parenting changes us entirely. There is no denying that. Because the truth is — the first few years are going to pull you so far away from who you used to be that you won’t even recognize yourself anymore. You’ll find yourself looking in a mirror, bags under your eyes, either heavier, or skinnier, and not recognize yourself. It looks and feels like you’ve aged a hundred years. Or maybe you are standing in a crowded room, feeling entirely isolated and alone, and wonder if you are invisible.…
Read MoreSeverely Autistic Boy Handcuffed after School Allows him to Wander Off
Trevor Hibbert, a California father says he is planning legal action after his severely autistic son was found and handcuffed by police almost a mile away from his middle school. These stories are in the news almost daily now. I’m not sure if that has to do with the rise of social media, news outlets looking for a good story, or if this sort of thing is new. But I can tell you as a mom, they terrify me. And I can tell you as a blogger who shares these…
Read MoreWhat if he has Autism Mama
You were sitting on the living room floor trying to build a tower with your Legos. At six years old you looked like a teenager sitting there. Your baby face is completely gone. Your legs are getting long. Your hair so blonde and eyes so brown. The baby was all over you. On your legs. In your lap. Pulling at your toys. You kept rotating away from him. But he was onto you. You moved. He moved. I hear you yell, ‘Harbor! You wild baby!’ I looked up and you…
Read MoreJust Try Sweet Boy
I have this memory burned in my brain. And if you follow me I speak of it often. I was a first time mom. My son was 2 years old and Early Intervention was sitting in my living room. Red flags had been identified as they say. The nice woman had a booklet…it had to be a 100 pages long. Her job was to figure out what my son couldn’t do. Question after question. Always, often, sometimes, never, unknown. Bubbles filled in as we went along. It was awkward and…
Read MoreA Few Firsts in our World
One of the ways I work with my son Cooper is by setting goals. At any given time, I have 2 or 3 different things we are working on. Going out in the community, using a fork, drinking from a cup, waving, eating a new food, and so on. Some goals take a short time to accomplish. Some take years. But I stick with them. It helps me as a mom to make a list. Otherwise I feel overwhelmed by everything he needs to learn. Here are a few of…
Read MoreMy Son, Please Choose a Partner who will Love your Brother
Sawyer, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being mine. For being here. For growing up. For keeping me firmly grounded in reality. For being easy. And simple. And letting autism be in control when it needs to be. Thank you for asking me questions. And telling me stories. For playing sports. And having playdates and birthday parties. Thank you for giving me all the milestones and memories that a mother dreams of. But mostly, thank you for being you. I want to tell you a few things.…
Read MoreThank You to the People who Love Kids Like Mine
I recently found out I had a challenging kid. Now I say that with a smile on my face and the love of a mother. I mean, I knew. Of course I knew. My son is nonverbal with severe autism. He is also a big kid. We’ve had our challenges. Our ups and downs. But I guess I didn’t know just how challenging he could be, and often is, every day. And I know why. Home is his safe space. We don’t challenge him at home like they do in…
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