Posts Tagged ‘Self Care’
Saying “Yes” to Help Doesn’t Make You Weak
Let’s see if this sounds familiar to any of you. A few months ago I was at the vet with my two dogs and two kids. As I sat there struggling, I was trying to keep two dogs back from trying to greet all the other dogs in the room. I had my autistic son in between my legs keeping him from collapsing on the floor and stopping him from running free. I had the dog’s paperwork in one hand being juggled and occasionally falling on the floor. My daughter…
Read MoreWith Goally, The Goal is Independence
When my son was diagnosed with autism at age three, I will admit I didn’t know a lot about it. I was told a lot of things of course and many of them weren’t positive. But that didn’t stop us from believing in him and his success. Cooper is now ten years old and truly an amazing kid. As he’s gotten older, and the teenage years are not far off, our goals for him have shifted. Where it used to be a lot of academic things, now our goals for…
Read MoreToday, Be A Tiny Bit Selfish
Have you had them yet? The days that are a little harder to get out of bed, maybe because there’s nowhere to be or maybe because you just don’t want to. Not yet. The hot showers interrupted by the yelling outside the door, quickly followed by the thought of “I just don’t want to parent today.” Or maybe it’s the little moments that hit hard. The Zoom birthday parties that are missing all the elements of an actual celebration. Or having to say no when your kid innocently asks to…
Read MoreI Never Knew Being A Mother Would Be So Hard For You
Hi, my name is Kate and I am 36 and I’m having a serious case of lost identity. Or maybe it’s a midlife crisis. Or a little post-partum depression. Or maybe I’m just tired, overweight and mentally drained. Who knows which one. I have three boys, a husband, a home, and a job I love. I am beyond blessed. I have devoted my life to the humans in my life. And again, most days, I am happy to do it. But some days, some weeks, I don’t feel that way.…
Read MoreWhat Got Me Through As A Mother
If I could go back in time to the day before my oldest son Conor was born I would in an instant. I would give myself the biggest hug and tell me it would all be alright, that it was going to be an incredibly painful few years ahead, that I would spend nights bawling my eyes out with worry, stress and loneliness but in the end it would be alright. I would tell me that I would stand at the water’s edge one night, ready to jump in, to…
Read MoreThe Goal is Independence
Why do parents like me care so much about therapy? I’ve read some crazy reasons as to why. I’ve heard we are tying to make our kids not autistic. That ones bizarre. I’ve heard we are trying to change them. Suppress them. Even torture them. Equally ridiculous. None of those are true. Not for me at least. I take my son to therapy, day after day, when I should be working or watching my other son play hockey or cleaning my house, for one simple reason. I fight for insurance…
Read MoreThe Goal is Independence
The other day I was talking about the future with another mama. We were new acquaintances, brought together by one common thread. Autism. Our sons were the same age. 9. Both similar. Ridiculously handsome, silly, very few words but still quite opinionated, and both very much in love with their mamas. We were talking about the beginning. Making jokes about the hard parts. Tearing up over the almost unbelievably hard parts. Then the middle part that we are in right now. The part where the pieces finally began to fall…
Read MoreI’ll Try Harder to be Better
I haven’t been the best wife, daughter, friend, mom to you and…I’m sorry. You see, today my son’s therapist mentioned she noticed him biting his hand. ‘Self injuring’ was the exact term she used, and he did it five times within their three hour session. She told me to ‘keep an eye on it’ and to notify her if ‘the behaviors worsened’. That’s been on my mind all afternoon. Retracing every step leading up to every ‘behavior’. Wondering what could have set him off… Wondering what we could do differently tomorrow…
Read MoreSorry for the Delay, I’ve been Sad
I looked down at my cell phone this morning. 37 unread text messages. 37. Dear God. Thousands of unread emails and Facebook messages. Have I been on vacation? No. Taking a social media/world time out? I wish. Nope. It’s been a long couple of weeks. My baby isn’t sleeping. And by isn’t sleeping I don’t mean waking up once a night. I mean waking up 3-5 times a night. And then I got hit with a cold. That happens when I get over tired. My body literally shuts down. It’s…
Read MoreProgress not Perfection
From the second our babies are born we are teaching them independence. The goal is to grow up…right? And thankfully, most skills are just learned through observation. They don’t need to be taught. Especially if you have an older sibling. They see it done a few times and before you know it your toddler is using a spoon or sitting on the toilet. With this amazing kid it was different. Skills didn’t come naturally. Anything new was resisted. There was no…’I’ll do it myself.’ No independence. At age 8 we…
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