Posts Tagged ‘nonverbal autism’
Thank you for Trying Kid
I used to think the measure of success was completing something right. Perfection. I thought that in order to win, or succeed, you had to nail it. Do it by the book. I thought that was the goal. Success. That all changed after I had you kid. You showed me that there are many, many ways to achieve success. I want to thank you for that. A few days ago you tried jello and whipped cream. For the first time ever. Your brother was having some. And you noticed. I…
Read MoreDropping My Best Fake Smile
Some days, most days actually, I am happy. Like, really happy. Why would I not be? I am blessed beyond belief. I have three amazing kids and a wonderful husband. My family is healthy. So am I. We do not lack for anything. I recognize our blessings. And I am thankful for them. But my life, by most people’s standards, is hard. It’s loud. It’s chaotic. It may appear as if I am drowning at times. Or like I’m barely keeping my head above water. It also may appear that…
Read MoreWho will Care for my Son after I’m Gone?
If you ask any special needs parent, they will tell you that their number one fear is worrying about who will care for their child after they are too old or die. It’s mine for sure. I have spent countless hours staring at my beautiful, innocent son and worrying. When I wipe his face. Or his bottom. When I wash his hair in the bathtub. When I walk him across the street or through a parking lot. I worry. He is 8. He needs constant supervision. He will most likely…
Read MoreOur World is Different
This morning you woke me up. The same way you do every single day. You come puttering in. Heavy feet. Full hands. Already giggling. You stand next to my face. You touch my cheek. Although you know that I am already awake. My mind and heart are so in tune to you Cooper that I swear I know the second you open your eyes. I joke that we are like an old married couple. You put my glasses on my face. And put my phone in my hand. And you…
Read MoreThe Rabbit Hole of Grief
The flu overtook our house this last week. First the baby. Then Sawyer. Then Cooper. And finally me. I found myself curled up in a blanket in bed yesterday afternoon. And Sawyer found me. He crawled in my bed and gave me that adorable smile of his. He went onto ask me a hundred and one questions. He asked me why rainbow trout look like rainbows. He asked me if I have ever caught a catfish. He asked me if I was a better fisherman than daddy. He told me…
Read MoreThank you Mom for Everything
I am the blessed mommy of twelve year old twin boys. Noah has severe, non-verbal autism and epilepsy. Owen is absolutely typical. When you have a child with autism, life is anything but ordinary. Today I’d like to take a moment to honor and THANK one of Noah’s champions and favorite people in the entire universe, his Grandma (my mom) Cindy. Cindy has been an integral part of Noah’s life since day one. She gladly accepted the role of caring for our boys when I returned to work after six…
Read MoreWhat a Stranger Sees
I saw you walking your dogs. You had arrived at the deserted park the same time we did. Me, Cooper, Sawyer, the baby and Jamie. A family of five. We park, the doors spring open, and immediately Cooper’s squeals of joy fill the quiet, cold air. I smiled at you. You and your two dogs. You are young. Out for a hike. I imagine you don’t have kids yet. You are a dog mom. That used to be me. Now I have three boys. We are so loud. It’s safe…
Read MoreYou Were Always Special
“Hi Mrs. France, we wanted to call and let you know that everything was fine with Jack’s X-rays. There are absolutely no abnormalities.” As your mother, you would think this would have been a phone call that I was elated to receive. Instead, I hung up in tears. It’s not that I want anything to be wrong with you, my sweet boy. I was just hoping that what was going on was something that could be “easily fixed.” I thought that maybe you just couldn’t hear the world around you…
Read MoreThe Little Boy that I Get to Know
I love you my son and I’m so, so, so, very proud of all the progress you’ve made in the last couple of years. You’re now at the age where we can really see your autism. You’re at the age where people know when we go out that you’re ‘different.’ Hopefully all of us Mama’s and Dada’s have raised enough awareness that they know you have autism when they stare at you. It’s ok. I see you looking at them. You know they’re staring you don’t care and guess what…I…
Read MoreCan a Baby Heal?
One of the unique parts of autism that I try to share on this page is the relationship Cooper has with his brothers. I’m often asked, ‘Do they play together?’ ‘Do they acknowledge each other?’ ‘What is their relationship like?’ The answer was no, no and non existent. For a lot of years it was so puzzling. If I was to describe it I would say that Cooper quite literally thought he was an only child for the first five years of his life. He was two years old when…
Read More