Thank you for Trying Kid

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I used to think the measure of success was completing something right. Perfection.

I thought that in order to win, or succeed, you had to nail it. Do it by the book.

I thought that was the goal.

Success.

That all changed after I had you kid.

You showed me that there are many, many ways to achieve success.

I want to thank you for that.

A few days ago you tried jello and whipped cream. For the first time ever. Your brother was having some. And you noticed.

I invited you to join us. I watched you think about it. Staying silent.

And then you wandered over. You sat down in between your brothers.

You dipped your finger into the concoction and brought it to your mouth.

I couldn’t believe it.

You made a funny silly face. I asked if you wanted to try again and offered you a bigger bite.

You swallowed, smiled, and ran off.

You were done.

I stood there in awe. My eight year old had just ate Jello for the first time.

Success.

More and more lately you are willing to try new things Cooper.

It’s been like a new door has opened in your world.

New things. New foods. New experiences.

I don’t believe this newfound willingness is the result of just one thing. I think it’s your age…you are getting older kid. Your amazing therapy. Your new medication.

You’re now willing to try.

Tickling your baby brother. Taking a bath with him. Even holding him for a few seconds.

Lying next to both of your brothers on the floor. Six months ago that would have never happened. You would’ve screamed if I asked.

Kicked. Flailed. It would have been too dangerous. Not any more.

Carrying your treasures in a bag or a backpack. If I even suggested a bag it would send you over the edge.

Pizza, spaghetti, even a bite of eggs.

New foods used to be out of the question. Daily the same five foods. I still think we are keeping Tyson in business.

Emptying the dishwasher and bringing clothes to your room.

Playing CandyLand.

Visiting a grocery store. Riding in a fancy cart.

Turning a different way on a path. Trying a new route. That used to be completely unacceptable. Every route had to always be the same.

Sitting near our family. Joining us at the table.

Even trying a new cup.

These are all huge things in our world. Huge tasks that have many steps.

And I want you to know that I know they are hard for you.

That trying is scary. That it’s out of your comfort zone.

I want you to know that I walk a fine line every single day of pushing you, motivating you and letting you live in your comfort zone.

And I will even admit that for years I didn’t try all that hard.

Asking you to do anything was like pulling teeth.

A therapist would ask you to stack three blocks and you’d throw them at a wall.

I’d ask you to take a bite of a new kind of chocolate chip cookie and you’d knock over a chair.

I’d ask you to sit near your brother, hug him or give him a high five and you’d start self injuring.

I learned that trying is hard.

I get that now.

You’ve taught me that success is not perfection. It’s not winning. Or doing it by the book.

You’ve taught me about patience. And persistence.

You’ve taught me to never, ever give up.

Success in our world is the willingness to try.

To touch, look, smell, even look at new things.

I can never put into words how proud I am of you for your willingness to try.

Success in our world is moving forward. Taking a few steps back. And then moving forward again.

Thank you for teaching me that Cooper.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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1 Comment

  1. Sharon on February 22, 2019 at 5:55 pm

    I’m saddened that you no longer share your information on Cannabis on your normal post. You hooked me into this journey.