Posts Tagged ‘nonverbal autism’
Autistic Teen left with nowhere to live after his Grandmother Dies
If you ask any special needs parent about their greatest fear surrounding their disabled child, I promise you it will always be the same. Who will care for my child after I am gone? That thought has haunted me many times. And it’s a complicated question as well. My son will need lifelong care. He will be a man, not a small child. I don’t know where he will be cognitively. Or if he’ll be able to bathe himself. Or buckle his own seatbelt. I don’t know if he will…
Read MoreWe Don’t Dwell on the Hard, but we do Acknowledge it
I often think people assume that my husband and I dwell on the hard parts of autism because we choose to share them publicly. I’ve been asked if our life is sad. Or been told that I clearly need therapy. That I’m depressed and need medication. Or my favorite…that I’m negative. That one makes me giggle. A little secret for you. We don’t dwell. We aren’t sad. We don’t wallow in pity. But we do acknowledge the hard. The very real hard parts of raising a child with a lifelong…
Read MoreA Dad’s Letter to his Nonverbal Son
Dear Cooper, I remember the moment it truly hit me that your autism was forever. And not just a word. Or a thing that other people’s kids had. It wasn’t when your mom told me that something seemed off. Or when she did the checklists late at night. I remember I got so mad at her. I defended you. I listened to her say things like nonverbal and delayed and I refused to believe that was you. I couldn’t figure out why she was looking for something that simply wasn’t…
Read MoreWhat’s Best for Jack? A Silent Graduation.
When Jack Higgins’ high school graduation approached, his parents, Barbara and Patrick Higgins, wanted him to attend. Like my son Cooper, Jack, 21, has severe autism. His parents worried that he’d struggle at a loud, crowded event. But, the Higgins dreamed of seeing their son walk across the stage and receive his high school diploma. I have this same exact dream. And while my son is only 8, in many ways I’ve accepted the possibility it may never happen. “When you have a severe disability, like Jack does, you miss…
Read MoreYou Must Love Him Differently
‘You must love him differently,’ she said. I looked at her curiously when she said that. ‘Why?’ I asked. ‘Because he needs you so much more than the other two. Because of the autism.’ I didn’t know what to say at first. She went there. Without fear. Without hesitation. I smiled and said, ‘I love him because he’s mine. I don’t love him any more or less or any different than his brothers. Autism has never changed a thing with my love for him.’ I love him because he made…
Read MoreAge is Just a Number in Our World
You were sitting on the floor. Near me. You like to be close. But not too close. Just close enough to see me. And know I’m near. I thought before the baby was born that you might struggle with sharing me. I was wrong thankfully. You seem to have no problem with me caring for the baby. As long as I’m close. As long as I’m home. On this beautiful, lazy evening, while you sat sprawled out next to me watching Daniel Tiger, I was playing with your baby brother.…
Read MoreWe Aren’t Excluded but we Aren’t Exactly Included Either
I was talking with a friend the other day. I was telling her how summers can be so hard on our family. In a way, part of me actually dreads them. Our friends, family and neighbors are so busy. We hear about it. We see it on Facebook. Pictures. Stories. They are traveling to Disney. Going to summer festivals. Grabbing candy at parades. Attending baseball games. Going for bike rides. Visiting the latest waterpark. On Facebook it seems so effortless. And while I know that everyone has struggles, I’m not…
Read MoreI Love Holding Your Hand Mama
‘Sawyer, hold onto your brother on the dock.’ I was climbing out of the boat, holding a baby, a pop and two bags. Sawyer and Cooper were out long before me and were headed towards our truck. Which, in most cases wouldn’t be a big deal. But in our world, it is. We have to be very, very careful. Cooper, our son with autism, is a runner. He bolts, he drops, he flops, he runs, and he sits. And rarely does he walk in a straight line. He also typically…
Read MoreSometimes I Just Wish…
This morning I was driving my six year old to vacation bible camp. It is his third day. As we were driving he was telling me everything they’ve done so far. ‘We sing songs mama. My favorite one is called Bubbles.’ ‘We play games. And eat lunch. Yesterday, I gave part of my lunch to a boy that forgot his and Ms. Amy gave me Funyons. It was AMAZING.’ I peeked in the rearview mirror at him. He was wearing a hat that made him look 16 years old. He…
Read MoreTo the Parents who are Nothing Special
To the delightfully ordinary parents. I see you. To the parents who are nothing special. The ones who are just your typical moms and dads. Not superheroes. Not saints. I see you. To the parents who don’t know why they were chosen to have babies with special needs. The ones who agonize over the whys more times than they can count. I see you. To the ones who don’t understand why people say God gives special kids to special people. Because while you know your kid is amazing…sometimes you feel…
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