Posts Tagged ‘motherhood’
To the Parts of You I Haven’t Met Yet
You were a gift from the moment the little blue + sign appeared to my young 20-year-old self. You were a literal dream come true. I dreamed of the person you’d be, the memories I’d make with you, what your hobbies would be, your little personality, the sweet voice you would have, and every single little part of being your Mommy. I never imagined it being difficult, because my love for you was already so strong. I was excited to endure everything that I would have to for you and…
Read MoreWhen Saying “Enough” is OK
“So your saying that Hudson was recommended for speech therapy…but he isn’t currently receiving those services?” My eyes dropped down to the table in front of me. Without making eye contact with the therapist, I responded “No. I just couldn’t get him to one more appointment during the week.” Boom! Immediate mom guilt set it, and along with it came a flood of emotions that I wasn’t prepared for. First: GUILT How could I as a mother not provide my child with a therapy service that he was recommended for?…
Read MoreMany Sunny Days Ahead…
I don’t want to get out of bed today. It’s going to be another dreary, cloud filled day. My room is dark and there is not an ounce of light peeking through the cracks of my window shade. I am so tired but I know in a few short minutes that I will be needed. I am going to hear my daughter Sunny screaming for me. It’s going to be another hard day of therapy sessions, begging to get her to eat something and begging her not to hurt herself.…
Read MoreWhat I See when I Look at You
Before you were diagnosed sweet boy, I prayed for a lot of things. I prayed for answers. I prayed to find doctors that would listen to me. I prayed for strength to never give up. And I will admit, that I was so scared of the ‘word’ autism, that I prayed it was anything else. A speech delay. A developmental delay. A hearing loss. I prayed that you were just a late bloomer. That you were strong willed. Anything but that word that people were afraid to say out loud.…
Read MoreMy Motherhood
Being a mom is the biggest blessing that I have ever been given. It is also the most challenging adventure that I have ever been on. When I found out that I was pregnant, I dreamed of all the fun things my son and I were going to do. I dreamed what my son was going to accomplish. And then one day, I realized my dreams were just dreams, and that my reality was different than what I had ever imagined it was going to be. Motherhood looks different than…
Read MoreYou Are Not Failing As A Mom
When I think about my life with autism and motherhood, I like to believe that I take chaos in stride. I try to find joy and approach most struggles with optimism. That’s just me. And honestly, the only way I can survive with my sanity. In saying all that, sometimes it all gets to be too much. Lately, I feel like I am waving the white flag. Surgeries, birthday parties, Pink Eye, pee, messes, snow pants, dogs, jobs, and overall feeling like crap is taking it’s toll on this mama.…
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