Posts Tagged ‘daughter’
Dear Mom, I Turned Out Okay
Dear Mom, I know raising my brother, who has a disability, takes a toll on you in more ways than one could imagine. Being your child without the disability, I know you struggled with if you were doing right by me. If your time devoted to my brother, affected me in a way that judged you as an inadequate mother. How do I know you struggled with these roller coaster of emotions? How do I know it was hard for you to manage being both my brother’s caretaker and a…
Read MoreA Daughter’s Letter to her Mother
Dear Mom, I see you. I just want you to know that I see you. I see everything you do for my sister and acknowledge everything I don’t see. I see the pain when you are trying to help her but nothing seems to work that day. I see the helplessness when my sister is way too overstimulated in public and you doing everything you can to get her through it but it’s just enough for her. I see the warrior in you as you fight for what she needs…
Read MoreWhy I am Thankful for my Special Needs Daughter
I am thankful for my special needs daughter. I should probably clarify. I’m thankful for my daughter…not the special needs. I’m not a parent who says that I wouldn’t make life easier for her if I could. I would. But that’s a topic for another post. Today is about a golden birthday and it’s about being thankful. It’s a lesson that I’ve learned over the years about perspective. Today, November 12th, is my daughter Liz’s 12th birthday! Liz has a rare genetic mutation and along with that has come a…
Read MoreI’m done Apologizing for my Daughter
I don’t know about you, but I’m so tired of apologizing… I’m tired of apologizing for things I cannot control. I’m tired of apologizing to people who don’t deserve it. However, I’m most tired of apologizing for my autistic daughter. Today, while checking out in the book store, Harper ran away to go to the children’s section (without looking back or slowing down ) so she could press the heart of Elmo to make him dance just one more time. As the cashier awkwardly smiled at me, I apologized to…
Read MoreLetting Go of the Shame of Autism
I remember it like it was yesterday. It will be 30 years this month that I experienced rejection for the very first time in my life. I was beginning my grade 9 school year. After a summer being away from home, I was nervous to come back to school for some reason. I tried to comfort myself by saying, ‘Wendy, don’t be silly, you have been best friends with these girls for 4 years, everything is going to be fine. You are in the popular group. Everything will be great.’…
Read MorePrecious as a Prayer
I sit and watch you after you have fallen asleep. I am in awe of how much you’ve grown. I sometimes mistaken you for your big sisters (now you weigh the same), and I pull back with fear. You see, sweet child, I have come to terms you will always be my baby. I will always protect you and sing you your favorite lullaby in loop mode. I will always be there to help you eat your breakfast and remind you the food is hot, and to use your fork, not…
Read MoreHow Can I Live Forever?
Once upon a time, you were just a small girl, but now you are almost grown-up. At the age of 16, I have realized just how quick adulthood is coming, and how this is the time I dreaded for so long. When you were little, and I knew something was different, I knew that something wasn’t completely right. I didn’t know what to do, I was young and I was naive and thought that it would change. I thought that maybe it was a” phase”, that the talking would come,…
Read MoreWhat I Want for my Child
It is easy to get caught up in the monotony of the everyday struggles. The therapies, the meltdowns, sensory issues, working on simple tasks like dressing and potty training while other kids my daughter’s age are going to dance class and mastering writing. It may seem that my daughter is missing out, that our family is missing out on so many things life has to offer, and sometimes that is true. When I start to feel overwhelmed or a little sad about what I’m not able to do I stop…
Read More3 Autism Assumptions
So, it’s Autism Awareness month and if you are like me you kinda giggle when you get to the “awareness” part. Pretty sure most people are aware that autism exists but depending on what generation they fall in, autism exists in their mental image catalog as scenes from “Rainman” or the “Good Doctor” or “Atypical” all of which represent my daughter Isla, well, ZERO. Not even close. Here is just a quick look at some of the more common assumptions floating around and I’ll let Isla help me squash those…
Read MoreThe Day I Lost My Autistic Daughter
It started off like any other Friday morning. I was rushing around trying to get 3 kids out the door for kindergarten drop off. There was a lot of “get your shoes on,” “are your shoes on yet,“ “that’s it we are leaving with or without the shoes.” Finally, after loading all 3 kids into the mini van we were off. I parked on Varian Way the same street we have parked on since my oldest son started school last year. The kids got out and we set off. Sadie…
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