A Daughter’s Letter to her Mother

Mom playing with her child outdoors in sunlight

Dear Mom, I see you.

I just want you to know that I see you.

I see everything you do for my sister and acknowledge everything I don’t see.

I see the pain when you are trying to help her but nothing seems to work that day.

I see the helplessness when my sister is way too overstimulated in public and you doing everything you can to get her through it but it’s just enough for her.

I see the warrior in you as you fight for what she needs to develop into her fullest potential. 

I see the endless amount of patience you have.

I see your endless selfless acts as you always are putting her needs before yours.

I see the loneliness you have when you feel like no one understands.

I hear the tiredness over the phone when I call you every day and ask how last night went.

I hear the worry in your voice when we talk about the doctor appointment that just left you with more questions.

I hear the frustration when no one is acknowledging the new concern you have.

I hear the excitement you have when that one behavior is getting better and you had the smallest accomplishment that day. 

I feel your frustration when all of a sudden there is a huge regression and it seems like we are back at square one.

I feel the abounding love you have for her.

I feel the endless hope you have that you are going to figure this all out one day.

I feel the relentlessness that pours out of you as you don’t take no for an answer again and again.

I know there are a billion “what ifs” twirling around in your head every night and day.

I know you are scared. I know you are tired.

I know you are trying your best.

I know that some days are easier than others and sometimes you are just trying to make it hour by hour.

Tired stressed mother holding baby

I know that you are trying to please everyone.

I know sometimes you wonder if what you are doing is enough. 

Mom, I just want you to know that you are amazing. I want you to know that my gifted little sister could not have a better mom to raise her.

She loves you. She knows you are fighting for her.

She knows that you are doing your best everyday. 

She admires you. She trusts you.

She is proud of you and so am I mom.

And mom…I know that you wouldn’t trade any of this life for anything, neither would I.

She is the greatest thing that could have ever happened to us.

Your daughter who sees you.

Written by,

The older sister of a five-year-old high functioning autistic little girl

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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