Posts Tagged ‘autism’
Erase the Word
A few holidays ago, a friend and I were chatting, when she said it. ‘That’s so retarded’ in reference to something happening in her life. At first I was floored. I hadn’t heard anyone say that word in I don’t know how long. She wasn’t done though. The story went on. She described a place and people. As I listened to her, waiting to see if she’d notice my face, I thought about how she is an educated woman. She is a kind woman. She is not malicious or evil.…
Read MoreDon’t Forget About the Special Needs Adults
I’ve heard people refer to special needs kids as the “forgotten ones” during this global pandemic. They cannot do virtual school, computers don’t make sense to them. School is school and home is home. You don’t do home at school, and you definitely don’t do school at home. Toddlers with special needs desperately need the social skills and therapies in order to learn, or in some cases learn how to learn. Older students desperately need vocational and daily living skills in order to be ready to leave school. These things…
Read MoreMy Son Has Taught Me to Live in the Now
I do not have autism. I am not autistic. But my son is. And watching and learning from him has been one of the greatest gifts life has given me. He has taught me to slow down. He has taught me to prioritize. He has taught me what is important and what truly matters. He has even shown me the good in this world. And the bad that is out there. This is how he greets every member of our family after school. He doesn’t have words. Just actions and…
Read MoreI am Your Advocate
My Beautiful boys, You are worth the fight. I am sorry life is hard for you. That I have to fight so hard for you. It is not the fight I am sorry for, because I would fight for you everyday of my life willingly and proudly. I am sorry because if I do not fight for you, you would have much less then you have now. If I do not speak up and be your voice, then you would not be heard. If I sit silent you will be…
Read MoreDear Tired Special Needs Mom
I know how you feel. I feel it too. It can be exhausting caring for your child with special needs. Every mom feels worn down, but this “tired” feeling you and I feel is much greater. This word “tired” for us means way more than the lack of sleep. Every minute of every day there is worry. Worry that your child’s school might call you again. We worry about when the next meltdown will occur and what set it off. We worry about how our child is feeling because they…
Read MoreI Wish I Could Feel Things the Way You Do
I wish I could feel things the way you do, my sweet boy. I want to understand. I didn’t know sound could physically, deeply hurt until you showed me. I see you fold your precious ears in on themselves, an attempt to mute the overwhelming world. That doesn’t usually work though. So, you quietly, nervously, moan. This slowly grows in intensity and frequency until your shrieking blocks out the unwanted sound or it’s removed. Whichever comes first. I want to explain to others how you feel inside during these moments.…
Read MoreThe Tender Things
Mama, what is a family? A family? Well, my child A family is at once The easiest And the hardest Thing to build Think of it as a garden Maybe you expected rows and rows of neat tulips Standing straight and tall in their church pews Eating organic apples and placing the cores neatly in the trash can Instead, you have a field full of wildflowers Colorful, shrieking wildflowers Who eat your leftovers with their fingers And leave gum wrappers all over the house It was not supposed to be…
Read MoreI Can Tell You When My Son Is Happy, But Not Why
I look into his blue eyes and tried to find some common sense, some meaning in them. Some hidden reason why he was hitting his head with his hands, over and over. Some deep psychology as to why he was screaming. Some reason why, why did he do this. But instead I find silence. There is no panic in this boy’s eyes. No desperate urges. No curiosity. No hint that he is conscious and knows what is going on. At all. Many people say to me, after finding out about…
Read MoreI Will Never Give Up Trying To Help My Son
Imagine not being being able to tell someone what’s on your mind. Imagine not being able to tell someone if you’re having a hard day. Imagine not being able to tell someone that your tummy hurts. Imagine not being able to tell someone that you’re upset. Imagine not being able to tell someone that you’re feeling down and why. Imagine not being able to tell someone why you can’t sleep. Imagine not being able to tell someone that you’re happy. Imagine not being able to communicate. Imagine being a mother…
Read MoreHe Was Always Him
January 16, 2017 It’s been 4 years since my son Stalen was diagnosed on the autism spectrum. He was 21 months old. I remember he was wild in the room as we waited for the doctor to come in and speak with us. He was throwing toys and picking crumbs from the carpet. He was pulling single plastic gloves from a box hanging on the wall. I was trying to hold myself together with strict composure but could feel the lump in my throat and the anxiety deep in the…
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