Posts Tagged ‘autism’
I Need To Step Up My Game.
So, how did Halloween go? That is the question on everyone’s mind. Cooper rocked it. He wore his costume and went to 10 or so houses. He even grabbed or took candy and even waved to every candy giver when asked. Towards the end he would get in the stroller in between houses but refused to stay in the stroller when his cousins went up to the house. It was pretty damn great. Little stuff like that means a lot to me. Towards the end he started trying to peek by the…
Read MoreWe Don't Need Action Super Heroes Anymore
I can relate to this so much. Greatest fears: I am scared that I am going to die before Cooper can live an independent life. And, that he’s never going to talk.
Read MoreI Thought I Had More Time.
I am spiraling down fast. I’m finally seeing it. The behaviors. The rigidity. And it makes it hard for me to breathe. Jamie was on a fishing trip so I flew solo with the boys this weekend. Cooper was Cooper and than add in dogs and a toddler. It is what it is. The problem is I saw Cooper’s rigidity like never before. I think I can say I watched him unravel before my eyes. It’s bad. And it’s controlling every second of our lives. Every meal was a fight. Every thing was a…
Read MoreTough Conversations
Today the school psychologist came to our house to do the final in-person evaluation. Our IEP meeting is set for the day after Memorial Day. We are so damn close. The phsycologist recently observed Cooper at daycare and was shocked at how he acted like a different kid in different settings. I totally get this and could said it until I was blue in the face. I actually gave up trying to tell people becaue I started to sound like a broken record. At the school evaluations Cooper resembles Lucifer. And…
Read MorePlaying Pretend is Silly Mom
There are so many things I didn’t know before this whole special needs journey started. Things I don’t want to know actually. For example, I never knew the importance of imaginative play. Let me rephrase that. I knew the importance of imaginative play but I did not know that some people don’t have it. Or that when you don’t have it you really struggle to occupy your mind. I’ve always had a huge imagination. I pretty much play everything out in my head before it actually happens. True story. I have made…
Read MoreCooper Ate A What?
I am a different person lately. I can’t help but think that this is how it should be. I picked the boys up from daycare yesterday and was told that Cooper had am amazing day. He initiated play with the blocks all on his own. And he ate a tuna melt. Um…I can’t get Cooper to eat anything and he eats a whole tuna melt at daycare. And also tried an apple for her. I was walking on air when I left. And no screaming on the way home. Score. And…
Read MoreRunning From Your Problems
I can think of a dozen times throughout this journey where I have considered taking my family and moving away. I fantasized that we would buy a cabin on a lake somewhere. Jamie and I would both work from home and we would raise the kids the way we wanted too. I would even homeschool the boys. Doing this seemed so right. Probably because the parent of a special needs child lives in constant Fight or Flight mode. I guess what I am really trying to say is that I fantasize about…
Read MoreI Don't Want To Be Super Mom Today
I was told at the beginning of this process (or maybe it was the middle) that I wasn’t taking the help that was available to me for Cooper. This was said to me by someone pretty close in our lives. She went onto tell me that I was living in denial and I wasn’t get Cooper the help that he needed. When she said this to me it was like one of those slow motion moments where time stops. I could practically see the words hanging in the air. I remember looking at her…
Read MoreWay To Go Cooper, You Broke Mom.
Ever since Cooper was 1 or so I realized that he doesn’t understand holidays. Or presents. And he doesn’t care about food so that part is out. He’s afraid of seeing Santa or the Easter Bunny so that is out too. And he hates activities so there is no dying Easter eggs or carving pumpkins. I can get him dressed up in a cute outfit but he won’t sit still for a picture. Yesterday was awful for me. It was the worst holiday I have ever had. Honestly, I am…
Read MoreI Can Bargain With The Best Of Them
I do a lot of bargaining. More than I probably should at this stage in the game. I mean, honestly, Cooper is 3.4. I’ve been doing this for a long time. I’ve been waiting almost 2 1/2 years for a first word. Isn’t that crazy? Every month that goes by I silently add up the months in my head. 1.4 years of speech. 1 year of occupational therapy. What else? 2 years until kindergarten. I’m almost OCD about it. And then I bargain. I probably should be a lot farther…
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