Posts Tagged ‘autism’
Eye Contact and Autism
When you google signs of autism…or talk to someone about autism….you typically hear the same signs. Lack of eye contact. Lack of affection. Withdrawn behaviors. Social delays. Cognitive delays. Playing with toys in odd manners. And the list goes on. When I used to ‘think’ about autism I would think of a really withdrawn child. I would think of a kiddo that didn’t hug or give love. And that wasn’t Cooper. So I told myself it wasn’t autism. I would lay in bed at night and mentally tick of the things he did…
Read MoreThe Truth about Special Needs Parenting
There are no medals given out to special needs moms. It’s not like you do all this and at the end you get an award. There are very few breaks. Very few kudos. And in my world even fewer thank you’s. For some moms there are no hugs. Or kisses. But you do it. You keep fighting. It’s a mixture of hope and desperation. And not a day goes by when you don’t wonder…‘Am I doing the right things for my child?’ And here is the truth. I didn’t get a…
Read MoreMother's Day. Sigh.
This is the 4th year that I have been a mama. I spent a good chunk of yesterday thinking about Cooper’s past birthdays. About all the holidays. And Halloweens. God I hate Halloween now. Any event where Cooper has to participate is the devil to me. Expectations kill me. Valentines Day. No valentines for us. And Easter Egg hunts. And then I thought about the future. This kid is going to be five. He has no words. He has very little awareness. He is going to lose his first tooth soon. And…
Read MoreSo This is New
When I first started entering the word Autism into Dr. Google it would typically come back with a few key signs….lack of eye contact, repetitive behavior, lack of imagination, etc. I was always tricked by the responses. My son has the eye contact, no repetitive behavior and zero imagination. I used to think it was ALL OR NOTHING. Nope. It’s a spectrum. Super Cooper has NEVER had a repetitive behavior. He’s too busy. Honestly, I’ve only seen him sit a few times and usually he is strapped into a booster seat. The…
Read MoreMostly, Autism Is Just Lonely….
You can ask any autism parent about what it’s like to raise a little person with a big diagnosis. You will get many answers about what it’s like. And that’s because there are no two autistic people that are the same. And on top of that, I think parents acknowledge and accept it in different ways. For me autism is frustrating. And exhausting. And heartbreaking. And dreadfully hopeful. And painful. And above all a process. A slow process that crawls along with glimpses of the future. Autism is expensive. And SO…
Read MoreI Saw the Autism in My Son
Most days I don’t think about Autism. Not the word or the disorder or anything to do with it. Cooper is just Cooper and he is who he is. And that’s that. Dare I say I was getting cocky. I may even say I let my guard down. Since we did the move and put Coops in intensive therapy there are parts of him that seem almost healed. Or normal. Or whatever PC word I’m allowed to say. Zero meltdowns, good transitions, improved skills, etc. Still no words but great…
Read MoreThe Age Old Spectrum
I spent last night thinking about the autism spectrum. I went to bed fine but Sawyer woke us up around 11 with the flu. No good. Vomiting and sleep deprived parents is never good. So, as I lay there waiting to sleep I started to think about the spectrum and Cooper. I always picture it as a straight line with high-functioning on one end and low-functioning on the other end. And the inevitable question….where is Cooper on that line. And an even bigger question…does it really matter where he lies…
Read MoreWhat Autism Looks Like To Me
I had a conversation with a friend this weekend about how everyone’s life looks amazing on Facebook. And how it’s all a load of shit. Nobody’s life is perfect. But nobody takes pictures of the sad moments. Or at least we don’t share them. Why would we. We don’t want the reminders. Or the questions from people about them. Or, pity. I am sitting here looking through the pictures of Coops birthday party. He is overstimulated and extremely stressed out in most of them. I would not call it a…
Read MoreSounds Like Hi To Me
I am pretty sure Cooper says hi in this video. And it also shows Coopers inability to sit still and focus. It ain’t happening folks. He’s all over the place. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqIyYbcJV9o&sns=em
Read MoreA Conversation with Myself
A couple nights ago Cooper was being a real bear as I was putting him to bed. I read him a story, tucked him in, put up the gate at the door to his room, grabbed the baby monitor, and went downstairs to continue my never-ending packing journey. We were moving in a few days. A new city. New services for Cooper. As I suspected Coops did not want to go to sleep and screamed/yelled at the gate. Normally, I don’t let it bother me. Sleep is not something he…
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