Tough Conversations

Throwback Thursday!

Throwback Thursday!

Today the school psychologist came to our house to do the final in-person evaluation. Our IEP meeting is set for the day after Memorial Day. We are so damn close.

The phsycologist recently observed Cooper at daycare and was shocked at how he acted like a different kid in different settings. I totally get this and could said it until I was blue in the face. I actually gave up trying to tell people becaue I started to sound like a broken record. At the school evaluations Cooper resembles Lucifer. And I’m not exaggerating. When she went to his daycare she saw relaxed, engaged, social and loving. Which is the kid I know. She gained a hundred points in my book when she asked to come to our home for the observation so she could see the real Cooper.

Today went well. Cooper acted exactly like Cooper. He was social but showed his delays in ALL areas. This lady was amazing though. After she left Jamie even said how wonderful she was. She commented on his sensory issues and his rigidity. But she also gushed about his strengths and his extreme cuteness. She got hugs upon arrival and when leaving and loved playing with our boy.

After she left Jamie and I were exhausted. As we prepared Cooper for daycare, so we could both go to work, we took 10 minutes to sit down and recap.

We both agreed it went well. We sat in silence for a while and then I asked him the question that’s been on both our minds for a long time. I asked him where Cooper was going to live when he grows up. And he said, ‘obviously with us.’ I choked back tears as I said I didn’t want that. “I don’t want him to live with us forever.’ We threw around words like social security and disability. How can we pay for his care forever? And what happens after we are gone. Where is he going to go? Who is going to care for him? Do we need to start putting money aside every month? Its’ just too much to think about right now.

This probably sounds dramatic since Cooper is only three. But trust me, it’s a real worry. I’ve spoke to a few other mamas with kids like Cooper and they’ve said the same sentence. ‘Is my child ever going to be able to live on their own?’ And there are no answers. At least not yet. We just need to take it day by day and eventually year by year. Only time will tell us what is going to happen. I hate it.

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