Posts Tagged ‘autism’
You are Not Lesser of a Mom (VIDEO)
I want to tell you about a feeling that I had for years. A feeling that still creeps up now and then if I let it. It’s the feeling that I am lesser of a mother because my child isn’t typical. It’s that feeling of missing out. It started when my son was very young. Right as it started to get really, really hard. I’m not entirely sure what made me feel that way. Maybe it was society telling me what a mother son relationship ‘should’ be like. Maybe it…
Read MoreThe Hugest Breakthrough
When your autistic seven year old, who has never once asked you to go to a store to buy something, asks you to go to the store to buy 10 Pokémon cards…you go. First time ever he has asked to go to a store yet alone to buy something. He has no concept of objects, buying things or even money. He’s a pretty simple kid. He knows no greed. Tonight, after finding his brothers cards, he asked us for 10 cards of his own. He has no idea what they…
Read MoreHard Days are Allowed
When I think about my experience with autism so far, there are a few moments of awakening that really stand out. One of those was Johnny’s second birthday. We had known about his autism for four months and, naively, I thought that the ups and downs we had experienced since that time meant we were “through” the acclimation phase. I thought that we were already prepared to settle in to our altered version of normal. That day, we drove over an hour to meet with most of our family and…
Read MoreThe Beautiful Parts of Stimming
One of my missions with this page is to give a glimpse inside our beautiful, unique world with severe, nonverbal autism. This photo is a perfect example. His mind is amazing. Cooper is absolutely in love with family photos. He even uses them to communicate. Thankfully, over the years he has relaxed a bit around them too. He used to take them out of frames, take them off the wall, even break the glass. Now, he just gathers them up, carries them around, spreads them out, studies them, shares them…
Read MoreA Story About a Boy
Max Richard is my son. On November 7th, 2012, he was officially diagnosed with Mild Cerebral Palsy. At the time, it was like the life had been taken from my body. Like a dream I couldn’t wake up from. Max began to make improvements with therapy but as of August 16th, 2013, he was not talking. Flash forward to today. He is still not talking. Things have changed in our life. I got new job. We moved. Max has a baby sister Samantha. Still no talking. I’m not going to…
Read MoreUnderstanding Different Approaches for Emotional Regulation
One thing I’ve learned in my work with children and families across the globe is that no two families or children are alike. Every time I think I have the secret sauce for helping a tantrum-prone child with autism in Germany, Japan, Texas, or Ontario, I’m humbled by the reality that what works well for one family may fail miserably for another. Over many years of clinical work at Boston Children’s Hospital and in private practice, I’ve come to the conclusion that a “one size fits all” approach simply doesn’t…
Read MoreFriend, My World is Different
Dear what could have been friend, And I say could have, but it’s not you, it’s me. Typical, right? But hear me out. I am generally a good person. And I don’t mean that in a boasting/bragging kinda way, just a that’s kinda how you should be way. Treat people the way you want to be treated, and all that. And you see I want this, I really do. I wish that every time you asked me a question I wasn’t simultaneously watching my child like a hawk. And it’s…
Read MoreThe Relationships Lost Along the Way
There is a very important lesson you will learn after you have a child diagnosed with autism. There are people in your life, and your child’s life, that will never fully understand. They will never be what you need them to be. Maybe it’s a shoulder to cry on. A phone call. A visit. But they simply can’t do it. They also aren’t always bad people either. They just can’t emotionally handle the diagnosis. Or the differences. I will admit it took me years to understand and accept that. Many…
Read MoreSharing the Realities of our World
We have been having so many wins lately with our severely autistic son. He is thriving. Our family is letting that breath out we have been holding for years. I feel like many parts are actually getting easier. And yet, the roller coaster continues. Our son had his longest behavior to date yesterday, 10 minutes, and had to be put into a hold. I spent the night feeling guilty. And worrying. And wondering why his life has to be so hard. Why can’t it just be easy? And as he…
Read MoreAdvocating for my Child Doesn’t Mean I am Trying to Cure Him
The small room is kept cold and quite. It only has one long rectangular table with 12 black cushioned chairs that have wheels at the bottom of them. The walls are painted light tan, with no pictures hanging from it, and the carpet is dark brown. You can not hear the sound of my heels walking to one of the chairs where I will sit for the next hour. It’s August and every room at the board of education is full and humming with excitement and nervousness for the upcoming…
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