Posts Tagged ‘autism parenting’
Wheel of Fortune
Watching Cooper watch Wheel of Fortune is one of my favorite past times. I can remember him watching when he was barely 9 months old. He was drawn to the colorful wheel. As he grew, it was the letters. He would clap and cheer and dance and run around the room and give high fives when the contestant guessed the right letter. Now he is 11. And he mimicks every single letter. He may not be able to say them correctly, but he tries. And he mumbles under his breath.…
Read MoreWe Can’t Stop Talking About Autism
What if we stopped talking about autism? I think about that sometimes. There will be times, like last night, where I will feel like it’s just too complicated. Maybe, it would be easier to not share. To not advocate. To hide even. ‘There was none of this autism stuff when I was younger!’ That’s a sentence I’ve heard more times than I can count from people. Some well meaning. Genuinely curious about it. And some, well, who think it’s a discipline issue. A bad child. A lazy parent. The thing…
Read MoreGrace is Everything
I talk a lot about grace on this page. A word that honestly didn’t mean all that much to me before this journey. But now, well, grace is everything. Because as parents, we can be way too hard on ourselves. When I speak to parents of newly diagnosed kids, and parents of kids diagnosed long before autism was a common word, they all tell me similar stories. Every single parent. They tell me about the things they didn’t know. They didn’t know that their child was in pain. Or they…
Read MoreThankful for this Silence
My sweet boy, We just got back from a car ride. We do that sometimes. You and me. We used to ride around to help you calm down. A much-needed break for both of us to reset. Now we drive around and hunt for trains. Not a lot has changed over the years except now you are eleven. And you can buckle your own seatbelt. A skill we worked on for years. A skill that you are incredibly proud of. Every time we get in the car, I pause and…
Read MoreBecoming the Parent Your Child Needs
We don’t blend in, this kid and me. Not that we ever did, but I’ll admit when he was smaller it was easier. We got by with the graces people bestow on toddlers and energetic kindergarteners. But 11. Well, 11 is a whole different story. A tween. Eleven is four feet, eight inches tall. Eleven is feet that can slip my shoes on to run out the door. Eleven is shared sweatshirts with mom. T-shirts sometimes too. Eleven is big and loud and noticeable. Because eleven is a boy. A…
Read MoreThis too Shall Pass
This too shall pass. There is a saying that is said at one time or another to every parent. This too shall pass. I remember being told those words as I held each of my newborns, exhausted from cluster feeding and lack of sleep. Again during the never ending messes that kids make. During potty training woes and tantrums over blue cups and the wrong shoes. And I guess in most cases it’s true right? The hard moments do pass. Usually. Babies start sleeping. Messes stop. Little humans learn to…
Read MoreShades of Grey
I never gave much thought to social norms before I had my son Cooper. Although I do remember a college professor speaking about them and advising each of us to stand backwards in an elevator and watch people squirm. Besides that though, I guess I have just always done them so they rarely cross my mind. That is until autism. My sweet boy is 11. He has blonde hair that is coarse like straw and ruddy cheeks, and he is entirely himself in every way. He doesn’t know how to…
Read MoreTo the People Who Live Outside Our World
To people who live outside of our world: I have a favor to ask you. When you see that child screaming uncontrollably on the floor of the supermarket. Stop. Pause. And… Before you blame the parents, Before you shake your head in disgust, Before you make snide comments about lack of discipline, And most importantly, before you judge the child, Stop. And know that… You may be seeing autism at its most challenging. It’s most confusing. A child who may simply have seen, heard, or smelled something new and not…
Read MoreChoose the Light
The comment read, ‘for some autism families, there is no light at the end of the tunnel.’ I thought about that comment all last night. And when my toddler woke up at midnight for a hug, and when I nursed my baby, and then again while I drank my coffee and watched the news. I thought back to our most challenging days when there was no apparent light at the end of the tunnel. Our autistic son didn’t sleep longer than 45 minutes at a time and we started every…
Read MoreWe Pour Love Into Them
This morning I was sitting on the couch drinking my coffee, soaking up some quiet time before my two littles woke up when my 3 year old came wandering in. He was dragging his blue blanket, the taggies in his hand. His hair was mussed, creases from his pillow still on his cheeks. He saw me, smiled, and immediately climbed up me and the chair and wiggled his little body next to me to make room. This is how every day starts. We snuggle. At least once he will whisper…
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