Posts Tagged ‘autism parenting’
Communication is a Gift
I think a lot about communication. More than the average person I’d say. I think about how important it is. Vital. For a person to be able to say their name and ask for help and tell someone when their stomach hurts. I used to think communication had to be verbal. Because that’s all I knew. But then I became a mom to a little boy who opened my heart and mind and ears to a whole knew world. My son Cooper is now 11 years old. He communicates with…
Read More“How Would the Two of You Handle a Child With Special Needs?”
Jamie and I were to be married in the Lutheran faith and had to give up our precious weekend free time to attend a weekend of pre-marital counseling sessions. It was long and seemed completely unnecessary because we were madly in love. The class was centered on ‘deep’ questions that prompted discussion between couples. How would you handle a partner with an addiction? Or a partner who lies? A partner who gambles? The pastor told stories that seemed ridiculous. They were about a wife racking up hundreds of thousands of…
Read MoreMy Kind of Hope
Hope is a funny thing. It ebbs and flows. It even changes over the years. When I found out I was pregnant for the second time I hoped I wouldn’t miscarry. I hoped for a happy, healthy, ‘like every other kid I knew’, baby. I secretly hoped for a girl too. When I found out I was having a boy at 20 weeks, and that we would name him Cooper, I hoped for baseball games, camping, swimming, biking and fishing. I hoped for endless conversations and a beautiful family. I…
Read MoreIt all Works Out
Last night after putting my four kids to bed, I found myself staring at this picture from across my living room. Cooper was 8. Sawyer was 6. And my third was just a few days old. The perfect photo of three brothers. Except, it wasn’t perfect. Not in anyway. Cooper refused to touch the baby. He was very scared of him. The baby had been home 7 days at that point and Cooper had yet to really even acknowledge him. He refused to lie down when the photographer asked. He…
Read MoreHis Siblings are Making Their way In
My son Cooper has always reached for a hand to hold when we are in the community. But not just any hand. Typically, mom or dad. He likes to feel safe. He likes to know that we are near. Yes, he is 11 years old and by this point in a boy’s life they typically die of embarrassment when holding a parent’s hand. But not our Cooper. He loves holding hands. He likes the comfort of us walking alongside him. Sometimes we lead. Sometimes he does. But he’s always an…
Read MoreI Don’t Know how to Fix This Either
I woke up this morning to a text message I didn’t send. The words were still in there. Typed. Staring at me when I unlocked my Home Screen. I quickly thought about erasing them because then I could pretend I didn’t feel that way last night. But, who would that help. Not me. Not anyone. And certainly not another mother who feels the same way. I feel like I’m in a trapped place sometimes. And as a fixer, a doer, a plan maker, it’s really foreign to me. I know…
Read MoreFind Those Moments
A memory showed up in my newsfeed today. A really special one that I never want to forget. It read… Today was a really big day in our little world. Huge really. This morning my son Cooper went to his brother’s school to have his school photo taken by Lifetouch. He has never had a school photo taken before. Because he goes to a therapy center. And that’s one of those little things that stings and feels unfair. Because a school photo matters. To me it does. There’s more too……
Read MoreCelebrate all of the Victories
I chatted with a father a while back about his four adult children. One is a doctor. One is a lawyer. One works in finance. A couple of them are married and have given him beautiful grand children. One of them is a world traveler. And the fourth, his youngest, works 4 hours a week at a book store. She has limited speaking and a diagnosis of autism. Like my Cooper. She is adored at her job. She greets people and restocks books. She loves helping. She takes transportation all…
Read MoreHappy Valentine’s Day to My Best Friend
My sweet husband, You and I have never been big Valentine’s people. Or gift givers really. Ever since we had kids we always say we will take a day together and go shopping and buy something for each other but it never happens. There’s never time. And well, this Valentine’s Day feels even less lovey than the others. For starters it feels like we have spent every minute together since last Valentine’s Day. That’s a lot of time together. It’s also -5 degrees outside right now which is making us…
Read MoreWorry vs. Wonder
There is a term I like to use. It’s blissfully unaware. It’s a place and feeling rolled into one. Many of us do this at different times in our lives. We live blissfully unaware. For example, I knew nothing of the emotional pain of a miscarriage until I lost my first baby. I knew nothing of the worry that comes with a child that isn’t developing typically until it was my own son. I knew nothing of the cruelness and brutality of cancer until it took my stepmom. I knew…
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