Prioritizing My Autistic Child’s Happiness

Is she happy? When I think about my autistic daughter, that is the question that is always in the front of my mind. When I think about school, when I plan a trip, when I go to the store, or when I look in the rearview mirror and see her staring out the window of the car, it is always on my mind. Do I want her to learn to read and write? Yes. Do math? Sure. Gain skills of independence and make friends? Of course. But in the end,…

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Compassion and Encouragement are Priceless in Moments of Autism Distress

Many of us that live with autism are familiar with the comings and goings of something that feels like a ticking time bomb; one that disappears for periods of time, so much so that we might forget about it. Then suddenly,  this bomb drops at our doorstep in the form of a returning or new obstacle, so intense that it causes us to pause our lives, alter our plans, maybe even change our current paths. For our family, the new challenge has been sudden piercing, momentary screams. Not constant or…

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Disability Advocacy: Embracing Inclusion

When you don’t have a child with a disability you don’t think too much about it. Until your life is touched by it, then you think about it differently. It’s personal. Of course, everyone knows there are individuals with disabilities, but it’s not directly affecting your life. You may think there is not much you can do anyway.  That is where you are wrong.  We need to stand and advocate for everyone, especially those who are vulnerable. We have come a long way in the way we treat and think…

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She’s the Girl With the Big Brown Eyes

She’s the girl with the big brown eyes, with lashes that go on for days. Thick brown hair that waves and swirls with red flecks that catch the sunlight. A big bright smile when the mood hits her right and a laugh that spreads like wildfire. She started this life healthy. It seemed only to become more uncomfortable by the day. Words that came early and all said with purpose and endless charm. Those very words were stolen from her with no warning or explanation, leaving silence and deep frustration. …

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Finding True Beauty: Parenting a Child with Disabilities and Embracing the Unexpected

You just bought your dream home and in the backyard is a beautiful garden. The ground is tilled, and it’s open to plant whatever you want. All you have to do is decide what to plant. Some people may begin planting multiple kinds of fruits. Strawberries, blackberries, and maybe even plant an apple or peach tree! Some may decide that herbs and veggies are the way to go. Thyme, dill, cucumbers and carrots! And some may see an empty garden and get right to work on planting all different types…

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She Is More Than a Label

Something that people may not be aware of, unless you have a family member with a disability, is how much harder our families work to “even the playing field.” The phone calls, the emails, the meetings, the appointments, the therapy, the rearranging of schedules, the accommodations, the constant fight for “fair.” It is consuming and exhausting. My name is Elissa, and I have two little girls. My oldest, Aleena, is 5 and in kindergarten. My youngest, Lexi, is 3 and is in daycare/preschool. Lexi also has autism. Though Lexi is…

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Language Is Something So Many Take for Granted

As I sat on the floor beside the bathtub last night, I had a full on back and forth conversation with my daughter. Language is something so many take for granted it’s something I took for granted before I had a child that didn’t speak. If you would’ve told me that my daughter would speak her first word at five I would’ve thought you were crazy. But at five years old it was the first time my daughter spoke. And today, my daughter is a couple of months shy of…

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This Month Celebrate the Women of the Autism Community

Without the voices of strong autistic women in our community and the support of people like my mom, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I was recently contacted by an autism mom who told me about her 30-year-old daughter on the autism spectrum and is about to have a baby. She said that she was proud of me for using my voice as a public speaker and self-advocate to spotlight others. If you are reading this, I don’t know why but this instinctively made me think of Women’s…

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I’m Not Special. I’m Just a Mom Doing Her Job.

As the parent of a child with special needs, I often get thoughts and opinions about my parenting from family, friends, and sometimes even strangers. It always leaves me feeling a bit perplexed. I don’t see myself as anything but a regular Mom with different challenges. “You are so strong” Not really, I am walking through my days just trying to do the best I can for my child. Sometimes I feel like I may break, but I keep that to myself. “I don’t know how you do it” It…

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How She Experiences the World

You, my sweet girl, Experience the world Around you, In a completely different way Then other people may. But just because it’s different, Doesn’t make it less than. Maybe we should take Things in the way you do. You may not play Pretend Or use toys the way Other children do. But that’s ok. Play is play. And a child can play In their own way. For example, You find the greatest joy In watching things scatter. A cup of water being poured Is your greatest treasure To explore. Sand…

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