Posts Tagged ‘Autism diagnosis’
Thought battle – Winning Smile
Its been a long time since I wrote. Something happened yesterday that I wanted to bring back to my thinking pad. This has been a place of thinking and talking whenever I have an ‘aha’ moment or whenever I have to work through something. For the first time, we let our son V participate in choir. He loves music, listens to something all the time, Alexa is his new best friend, and he also has a decent voice. Choir had around 70 kids and we were doubtful but the program director agreed…
Read MoreEven Now, It’s Not Going Away
Last week, my son Noah slightly hit himself in the face, and his head out of frustration. And do you like how I say slightly? I have to down play it, because that has never happened before…and I can’t believe it nor can I stop thinking about it. Because my kid’s not supposed to do that. He’s supposed to be high functioning? Not that the label really matters. But I’m expecting the words to come, and the communication to start flowing, and even his interests to change. But what if…
Read MoreMy Advice After ‘Labeling Day’
October 4th 2017. A day I will never forget. One filled with such mixed emotions… dread and anticipation. I remember sitting in the waiting room of the neurodevelopment center, watching my two year old, Brayden, play with a child life specialist. I was exactly one month postpartum from having my second son, so my hormones (and emotions) were wild. I remember looking at my happy, beautiful toddler, knowing this was the last time he was “Brayden, who has a speech delay”. I knew when we left this appointment he would…
Read MoreDone Trying to Fit Into ‘Normal’
My ‘aha moment’ developed over a series of very confusing, embarrassing, bizarre, and frustrating events. But, I know that there was an undeniable moment in time, where I saw without a doubt, that there was something about my son very different from other kids his age. Something very different from my older son. The difference wasn’t a spoiled child. It wasn’t a lack of discipline. It wasn’t just the toddler stage. This difference was beginning to infiltrate every moment of every day and every night. Looking back, I could say…
Read MoreAutism, Isolation and Inclusion
I want to talk about a topic near and dear to my heart and very real in our autism world…isolation. I remember it started when my son was very young. Back in those days though, we thought he was just a challenging toddler. Autism wasn’t even in our vocabulary yet. We’d joke that he couldn’t sit still or about how busy he was and dream about the days when we could actually leave the house again. We thought by age 4 and 5 he would for sure be able to…
Read MoreI Don’t Mind Being Your Mom
As a mom of a child with autism, I often feel burnt out, disconnected and stressed. I often feel like a shell of who I used to be. I feel like someone who’s just struggling to make everyday a good day, even when the dark cloud looming over me is incredibly heavy. I’m not fun anymore. I’m rarely spontaneous or enjoyable to be around. I’m not as positive as I used to be and I don’t always see the good in the things that should bring me joy. I feel…
Read MoreThe Moment My World Stood Still
It was a Sunday night. I had locked myself in the guest room with my mac book. I had had this feeling gnawing at me that something was not right with Sander. He was 2 years and 4 months old. I was a first time mother. I sat staring at the blank space in “dr” google. I thought back on my conversations that I had been having with friends, family members and acquaintances. Talking to my Mom on Christmas, “But Mom, why does Sander only like the wrapping paper and…
Read MoreThe Day My Son Was Different
I’ll never forget that day. The day that I realized, this wasn’t just a speech delay. That he wasn’t just a boy that was going to develop at his own rate. I’ll never forget the moment, that I actually had to admit to myself, that my son was more than likely, autistic. I chose to be a stay at home mom. My husband and I made that decision, the very moment we found out about Carter. It was something that was important to both of us, so that’s what I…
Read MoreMy Son, You Showed Me That I Was Stronger Than Autism
A Letter to my son Daniel: It’s hard to believe you are already fourteen months old, as it feels like just yesterday I was holding you in my arms for the first time. I know you are still a baby but I hope to read you this letter one day when you can better understand it all. Watching you grow and reach exciting milestones this past year has healed my heart in so many ways and brought so much joy to my life. You are always smiling and laughing and…
Read MoreMy ‘Ah-Ha’ Autism Moment
On my drive to work this morning, I was considering different topics for my February writing challenge topic and I landed on the ‘ah-ha’ autism moment. You know the one? The exact moment you realize that your child really does have autism. And it’s really serious. And you can’t hide it anymore. And your child is different than their peers and siblings. For me this wasn’t the moment our doctor first mentioned early intervention or even when he was diagnosed with autism. Yes, those moments were hard and stung. But,…
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