Posts Tagged ‘autism blog’
If I Let Myself Wonder Why
Sometimes I wonder why. I would be lying to you if I said I never wondered why. Why our family? Why me? Why my son? Why him? We are nothing special. We aren’t any stronger than anyone else. We aren’t super parents. I don’t know if God chose us. Or if special kids are given to special people. Or if we have Cooper because we are strong enough to handle the challenges that come with him. I don’t feel like that stuff is true. Not really. I think that’s just…
Read MoreA Letter to My Boy on His Birthday
Dear son, On the eve of your 4th Birthday, I want you to know that you are loved beyond measure plus infinity forever. Autism has nothing to do with the fact that I am blessed to be your Mama. The love and joy that you have brought to my life is beyond anything I could ever have imagined. You make me smile EVERY single day. When I saw you for the first time, I couldn’t believe how beautiful and perfect you were, and I feel the same way today. You…
Read MoreAutism Defeated Me Today
Autism you won. It was one of those days. A day you felt like a dump truck has repeatedly hit you over and over again. Tears that continue to flow. Nothing is stopping them. I am hurting. I am hurting because I can’t figure out what is making my son so frustrated. I can’t figure out what is causing his meltdowns. Autism is hard. There is no sugar coating it. It hit me extremely hard today. I just became so overwhelmed with emotions today. The feeling of my anxiety taking…
Read MoreThe Questions I Would Ask You
Sometimes, I let myself dream about you talking Cooper. I’ll be honest, it’s less and less lately. And not for sad reasons. Don’t think that for a second. But because you are communicating so well with your speech device. That’s our focus. As long as you can tell us if you are thirsty, or hungry, or if something hurts, then I am good. I care about your needs sweet boy. I need those met. I need to know that you lack for nothing. And I need you happy. Above all.…
Read MoreThe School is on Lockdown
My son’s teacher sent me a beautiful picture of my son with his classmates outside and enjoying the day a few minutes before I headed to pick him up. They had an egg hunt today at school and colored Easter eggs. Upon arrival, I was greeted by a police officer telling me that my son could not leave the building. (Special Needs pick up is 30 minutes prior to school letting out) I was hysterical. He said I could sit in the lobby or wait in my car and explained…
Read More3 Autism Assumptions
So, it’s Autism Awareness month and if you are like me you kinda giggle when you get to the “awareness” part. Pretty sure most people are aware that autism exists but depending on what generation they fall in, autism exists in their mental image catalog as scenes from “Rainman” or the “Good Doctor” or “Atypical” all of which represent my daughter Isla, well, ZERO. Not even close. Here is just a quick look at some of the more common assumptions floating around and I’ll let Isla help me squash those…
Read MoreHer Spinning
I told her tonight that if she wanted to cuddle she would have to stop her wiggling and squirming. She was hiding underneath the blanket by my toes: giggling. Total sensory overload. She crawled out and laughed and flapped and I told her again. Things need to be structured to go smoothly. She wrapped her arms around me reluctantly avoiding too much touch and squeezed gently. The whole process so uncomfortable for her. “One, two, three, four…” We started together and then her counting became as always rapid and just…
Read MoreI’m Thankful for my Unsung Hero
Its been almost 3 and half years since we received our son’s diagnosis of classic autism level 3. When we walked to the car that day I sat in my seat and just crumbled… As I sobbed and sobbed, you took my hand and said “we’ll get through this together.” You may not have known then but that’s exactly what I needed to hear. No one could have prepared us for this journey. The women and mother I was that day is not the same person I am today. Autism…
Read MoreIt Will Always Be Like This
It was a normal Monday afternoon. My boys were playing while I finished up my work on the computer. I closed the Macbook and started thinking about dinner when I heard a large thud followed by crying. My 20 month old had fallen off the toddler bed and hit his head. He was bleeding and a bump was forming. As I was trying to check it better and hold an ice pack on it, my sweet baby stopped breathing. He’d done this before. He gets so mad and screams and…
Read MoreHe’s Just Like Any Other Boy
I was making sure Austin didn’t follow someone through our gate the other day and this comment was made. “He’s just like any other boy” It’s not the first time this has been said to me, and I know it’s said with the intention to make me feel better and reassure me that Austin isn’t so different. That he is just like any other 5 year old boy. I don’t mind this comment because it is true. Austin can be like any other 5 year old. He wants what he…
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