Posts Tagged ‘ASD’
The Extraordinary Goodness All Around Us
Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids, and my second son has autism. His name is Jack. Jack is sixteen years old now. Theoretically, he is a junior in high school. Theoretically, he can drive a car. Theoretically, he should be studying for the SAT’s and maybe looking at colleges and trying to decide what the next chapter of his life may hold. There is nothing theoretical about autism though. That’s the thing. Autism is a concrete set of symptoms that, like a set of parentheses around a…
Read MoreTurn Your Worry Into Wonder
There is a term I like to use. It’s blissfully unaware. It’s a place and feeling rolled into one. Many of us do this at different times in our lives. We live blissfully unaware. For example, I knew nothing of the emotional pain of a miscarriage until I lost my first baby. I knew nothing of the worry that comes with a child that isn’t developing typically until it was my own son. I knew nothing of the cruelness and brutality of cancer until it took my stepmom. I knew…
Read MoreWe are Raising Him to be Proud of Who He Is
Every morning I wake up to messages from people. Most are well-meaning. Many are kind. A few are awful. Some are bizarre. And some, tell me how to raise my son. And how I’m doing it wrong. They tell me what I should be doing, how I can do it better, and what I can and cannot say about him. I’ve gathered a list of what I cannot say. I cannot say he has autism. Or is autistic. I can’t say he is nonverbal or nonspeaking. I can’t say he…
Read MoreYou are an Amazing Special Needs Sibling
Dearest Daughter of mine, I don’t know how I would do this thing called life without you! Having a little brother with a disability isn’t an easy job. But you do it with such grace and empathy. Every day from the moment we wake up you start caring for your brother. Before I even make it downstairs you grab him a drink and make sure he has gone to the bathroom. You do these things without me even asking. You bring so much light and joy to our family. I…
Read MoreThe Woman Who Showed Me How To Get Through The Hard
Genevieve Ann. There’s a lot that I can say about her. She’s fierce. She makes me laugh. I know if I call her I’ll feel better. I don’t dare miss a Thursday call from her. It’s been our thing since I was little. There was that one time in college where she called me 3x’s upset that I didn’t call her because it’s Thursday. Then she realized it was Wednesday. She and my Papa made quite a team. I remember I wanted my marriage with whoever I married to be…
Read MoreMy Son, You are Mine and I am Yours
To my Johnny, I can see it now; The chaos, the fear, the love, the moment you entered the world. It was 10:31pm and the room was full. Nurses and staff running about, Gad, Grammy and your Aunt cheering with joy, machines beeping and a baby crying. In a strangely unceremonious way you were laid down on my chest facing away from me, curled up in the only position you had ever known. I remember trying to ask if I could see your face and it going unheard. I felt…
Read MoreTo My Daughter’s Birth Mom
Always and in so many silly ways, we love you. Through the remarkably challenging stuff and each heart warming moment, I think of you and I love you. In struggle and in triumph, her dad and I stick to the promises we made with you, six years ago today. When Seeley notices her remarkable hair, she thanks you. When she finds an eyelash and doesn’t want to wish for a pet jellyfish, she sometimes sends you her extra wishes. When she catches a fall on her big biscuits, she screams…
Read MoreA Love Letter to a Fellow Autism Mom
The love language for a special needs parent to feel seen, accepted, and understood is as simple as a head nod, and a “me too” on a zoom call or a quick chat on the phone. Or maybe even in the grocery store where your child is having a hard time. If you’ve ever been that person for another special needs mom, you’ve changed their life, you’ve made them feel seen, and they thank you for it. Thank you for sharing your story of walking through the hard, so that…
Read MoreAcceptance Is Not About Resignation
The special needs “warrior mother” is a well-known figure. She’s the mother that kept pushing, read all the literature, challenged the doctors, demanded services, lobbied congress: in short, she changed the world and then went on Oprah to promote the book. Chances are she’s reading this right now… boy, am I in trouble! Yet how often do we hear of the warrior fathers? Crickets. When I first heard the experts murmur the A word, my defense mechanisms kicked into high gear and I immediately erected a wall of denial around…
Read MoreYou Don’t Have to Earn the Right to Inclusion
Will my daughter ever have a friend? Will other kids see how funny and smart she is even if she never speaks? Will they tease and ignore her? Will they be scared of her? When she gets older, will she join a team or a club? Will she meet a kindred spirit who sees her for all that she is and what she can do, instead of who she isn’t and the things that she can’t? Most parents worry about their kids belonging at some point in their parenting journey,…
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