Posts Tagged ‘ASD’
A Letter to the Struggling Autism Mama
I see you, and I feel your heartache. I understand that every single day is a back and forth balance of finding the joy and grieving the life you thought your child would have. Your days are now filled with therapy appointments, IEP meetings, arguments with insurance and sleep deprivation. You are now leading a team of educators and therapists that you didn’t sign up for, or ask to be a part of. But you know it has to be done. Own your seat at that table, you are important.…
Read MoreWhy Can’t You Be Normal?
Why can’t you be more, well, normal? Have fun for a change! Blow bubbles in the summer breeze and chase waves in the ocean and jump into big piles of autumn leaves. Make friends. Go to birthday parties and sleepovers and on camping trips. What if I can’t, he asked. Try harder, they answered. Try bigger. Try with everything you have. I am trying. I am all the time trying. Be a normal kid. Say hello when someone talks to you. Shake hands. Hug people good-bye. What if hugging makes…
Read MoreIs This Our Forever?
Is this our forever? A good friend recently asked me what kinds of things my son Leo was interested in these days? “Toy Story, like always,” I responded, chuckling at the thought of how often I’d responded similarly over the years. For as long as I can remember, Leo has been transfixed by the popular series of films; his love for Sheriff Woody, Buzz, Andy, and the rest of the Pixar gang, have stood the test of time, resulting in a most impressive collection of Toy Story merchandise; from figurines,…
Read MoreOnly in My Dreams
Sometimes it hits me when I least expect it. I was sitting in front of my computer reading my son’s high school athletic Facebook group post. “Any parent of a boy or girl in grades 3-6 interested in volunteering as a water boy/girl for the varsity football team, please respond.” So I went to that imaginary place in my mind. I pictured my daughter on the sidelines holding the rack of water bottles proudly watching her brother and his teammates play football. She smiled excitedly as the whistle blew and…
Read MoreMy Husband, We are Perfectly Imperfect
My Husband. I love him with all my heart. Every fiber of my being. I have loved him since I was 16 years old. I don’t really know anything else. And to be honest, sometimes I don’t even like him. We don’t see eye to eye on many things. We fight a lot. He doesn’t think the the things I think are important matter. At all. And frankly, it irritates me. Can’t he pretend to go along? He will humor me, but still, not happily. We have never had a…
Read MorePlease Teach Your Children About Diversity
Dear Mums, Dads and Caregivers, I want to ask you to do something. Can you look back and think if you’ve ever taught your children about diversity? About people’s differences…that not everyone’s the same? It can be race, disabilities, the homeless, religion and so much more. Have you had a conversation about how not everyone’s the same and how important it is to be accepting of that? When Lace was little, I worked in an accommodation house with adults with disabilities. I used to bring Lacey in and let her…
Read MoreWaiting For Sister
Our fourth baby is due in 93 days. Not that I’m counting or anything. Although pregnancy in your late 30’s during a pandemic and a Minnesota winter with three wild boys is no joke. I’m trying to enjoy it. And I am. But tick tock over here. Yesterday, as I was attempting to sneak a few minutes of alone time midday, my two older boys made their way into my room. They always find me. Sawyer pulled up a pillow and a blanket next to me and began watching a…
Read MoreOur Silent Journey
My sweet boy, We just got back from a car ride. We do that sometimes. You and me. We used to ride around to help you calm down. A much needed break for both of us to reset. Now we drive around and hunt for trains. Not a lot has changed over the years except now you are ten. And you can buckle your own seatbelt. A skill we worked on for years. A skill that you are incredibly proud of. We still ride mostly in silence. When you were…
Read MoreWe Wanted More
Did you know that someone once told me that our third son, the one in the middle, was a replacement child for Cooper? I assume they wrote that comment to hurt me. Or to remind me what a crappy mom I am. Or maybe they were just angry and miserable. Who knows I guess. What a ridiculous statement though. A replacement child. I’m not sure why we would ever replace Cooper. He’s very much here. He’s 10 and is currently waiting on two movies from Amazon. This morning he asked…
Read MoreDear Anxiety
Dear anxiety, You and me need to have a talk. Because this co-existing crap isn’t working anymore. We need to set up some rules. You have been with my son since birth, although, like his autism, we didn’t know until much later. You are a thief. A thief of joy, of calm, of growth. His and ours. I used to think of you as a monster. A loud, huge, lumbering monster coming right at us. Once I learned more about you, I could see you plain as day. You didn’t…
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