Posts Tagged ‘apraxia’
I See You…Perfect For Today
I am so glad I saw this today. On the way to work this morning I was thinking about how hard it is to raise babies. It’s exhausting and challenging and tiring and wonderful and amazing. For any of you that know me you probably saw on Facebook that Sawyer put sand in my lawn mower gas tank last night. And then stripped down naked and ran around my front yard destroying plants. As I chased him around my yard screaming I had a silent chuckle at the neighbors watching…
Read MoreNonverbal Autism
I say the words ‘nonverbal autism’ daily. Cooper isn’t just autistic…he is nonverbal. It adds another layer. A really difficult layer. It adds severe frustration. It adds yelling and screaming and sometimes scary, loud noises. It adds a lot of head hitting. And mostly it removes a lot of layers of simple every day interactions. I will spend minutes staring at Cooper and wonder what he is thinking. Wondering if he is happy. Wondering what he would say to me if he could. Wondering if he understands me. Talking devices…
Read MoreAutism Awareness Month
I think Cooper falls in a really weird place on the autism spectrum. In some ways he is severe. He doesn’t speak. He has zero self-care. And hardest of all he has no self-awareness. Cooper doesn’t know he is autistic. He doesn’t know he is different. He doesn’t know that he has no friends…He most likely doesn’t know what a friend is. But on the opposite side he isn’t violent. He isn’t mean. He is easy to care for. He smiles and laughs and requests hugs and kisses. And I…
Read MoreBeing Thankful For What Autism Has Given Me
Yesterday I spent the whole day with my boys. Alone. Stuck in the house. It was glorious and exactly what I needed to recharge my life. I chose to clean and paint and play and organize and do laundry and unpack. So, a very typical Sunday at my house. As I did each of my manic tasks my little Sawyerbean tagged along. Where ever I went…he went. He offered to help with every single chore I was doing. He made messes. He asked questions. He spent a good majority of…
Read MoreCheerleader Asks an Autistic Boy to Prom
I’m on this mission to share stories of autism that give us hope. Mostly, stories that give me hope. Enough sadness. I’m very vocal that my greatest fear is that people will be mean to Cooper. It could be a fellow child. It could be a teacher or a caregiver. Or it could be a complete stranger. There is a handicapped boy that works at our local grocery store. He is slower than the other people that work there. He is harder to understand. But he is the happiest person…
Read MoreA Super Cooper Update
I haven’t given an old fashioned Cooper update in a long time. I remember reading updates when I used to follow a lot of autism blogs and comparing my kiddo to theirs. I would be like, Cooper can do that but wait, oh, shit, he can’t do that. It was good and bad. So, don’t do that. No comparing. Each kiddo is different. Language: No words at all. He doesn’t even have a sound for a word. Nothing consistent at all. That’s hard. I always wanted him to make a…
Read MoreA Good Reminder
When Cooper wakes up in the middle of the night and comes to my bed he touches my face. He usually rubs my forehead and lays his hand on my cheek. It is so gentle that sometimes it takes me a second to register he is even there. Although he struggles with social cues, emotions, showing love, controlling his anger, etc., he is hands down the sweetest child I have ever met. I can’t even summarize his innocence with words. I don’t know how people could give up. It’s just…
Read MoreJoining the Club
I received an email from a fellow autism parent. It was so raw I actually cried when I read it. I wanted to crawl through the computer and hug this person. It resonated with me so deeply. This person reads my blog so I know they will see that I used their email. I just can’t stop thinking about it. I could have written this myself. I so get it friend. I read it this morning. I actually stumbled across it in my junk mail folder. I almost missed it.…
Read MoreHaving a Child With Special Needs….
I received Cooper’s Kindergarten packet in the mail a few weeks ago and like it was planned….I promptly lost it. The packet actually came the exact day that we were moving to our new house. So, you can understand why it got lost. The chaos of moving was too much. And to be honest, I have been dreading that damn packet like the plague. I don’t want Cooper to go to a mainstream kindergarten. It makes me feel completely helpless and out of control.I remember when Cooper was 3 or…
Read MoreDeciding to Be Brave
I had a friend ask me yesterday what made me decide to be brave. I love that question. I don’t feel brave. Ever. I feel afraid. And unheard. And lost. And completely unprepared and unequipped to handle what autism is throwing my way. But this sweet friend of mine saw it as bravery. And I loved her for it. I was filling her in on the whirlwind of the last week. I had my mini meltdown at Cooper’s pediatrician. I demanded that he helped me. I was a cross between…
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