February 12, 2016

Having a Child With Special Needs….

I received Cooper’s Kindergarten packet in the mail a few weeks ago and like it was planned….I promptly lost it.  The packet actually came the exact day that we were moving to our new house. So, you can understand why it got lost. The chaos of moving was too much. And to be honest, I have been dreading that damn packet like the plague.

I don’t want Cooper to go to a mainstream kindergarten. It makes me feel completely helpless and out of control.I remember when Cooper was 3 or so and Jamie and I talked about how lucky we were in the sense that Cooper wouldn’t have to start kindergarten until he was almost 6 years old. His birthday fell in a way that we could have him wait. And I remember thinking…he will be fine by then. By 6 he will be talking. He will know what is going on. He will obviously be potty trained. By 6 we are going to be OK. When you have a 3 year old age 6 seems like a million years away.

And now, here we are.

I am skipping the kindergarten open house next week. I refuse to go actually. Of course I will meet his teacher and get to know her. And I am excited to have another person in our lives that will help Cooper thrive. All of that is great. But, I know that Cooper’s first day of school won’t be any different than any other day. He won’t understand what is happening. He won’t care. There will be no school shopping together. There will most likely be no ‘real’ first day of school picture. And the list goes on.

Sigh.

I can talk more about my thoughts on that later I guess.

When I get sad about Cooper I watch this video by Kristi Rieger Campbell. I think I’ve watched it a 100 times. This video is my absolute favorite! Prepare to cry. She sums it up perfectly. “Having a  child with specials needs sometimes makes us feel sad, jealous and a little bit cheated.”

Check her out at Finding Ninee.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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3 Comments

  1. kim on February 12, 2016 at 4:41 pm

    I cry everytime I watch this. Ps In my state, Landon will go to Kindergarten at age 4. No way in hell. So I am fighting and I may homeschool. Life is so different than I ever imagined.



  2. rgemom on February 12, 2016 at 11:39 pm

    I’m just going to send you a hug.



  3. blogzilly on February 13, 2016 at 4:10 pm

    When Bennett was 2 he got sick, then I realized I had a lifelong commitment as far as his care, and part of that was school choice. I also came to know that I actually HAD choices (long story) while so many people I was getting to know in the community did not. He went to a Special Needs school until he was of Kindergarten age and then I figured…OK I would give it a try since…well, Bennett can be a social kid. He just can’t really talk, read, write, watch a show, and hulks out from time to time. I mean…I get like that. But I did not at the time understand how severe his disabilities were. Didn’t understand what echolalia was. I was in recovery of sorts. So I tried public school kindergarten. It was a new stack on my guilt sandwich. The system seems to be geared towards kids who are “easy” or at least “easier” or those that have less complicated situations.

    I hope you have a great Intervention Specialist or whatever they are called in your town. They can make all the difference. Bennett did pretty well with his first. She left the second just blew it all to pieces.