I See You…Perfect For Today

I am so glad I saw this today. On the way to work this morning I was thinking about how hard it is to raise babies. It’s exhausting and challenging and tiring and wonderful and amazing.

For any of you that know me you probably saw on Facebook that Sawyer put sand in my lawn mower gas tank last night. And then stripped down naked and ran around my front yard destroying plants. As I chased him around  my yard screaming I had a silent chuckle at the neighbors watching and googling social services. After that debacle, fighting over dinner, fighting over baths, teeth brushing and pajamas, I finally climbed into bed only to realize that Cooper had dumped his sand filled shoes out in my bed.

Raising kids is hard. There is no way around it.

And I’m completely worn out lately.

We have been doing Cooper’s schedule for five years now and its taken its toll. Sometimes after a particularly hard day or a few glasses of wine I think about what I would have done differently. Or, an even harder question…Would I do it all again? I’m not saying would I have Cooper again because that is a no-brainer. He is my life.

But, if faced with the option, would I take on autism again. The countless appointments, the fighting, the heartache, the sadness, and the unknown.

I honestly don’t know. For me autism is hanging on for dear life and praying to God it gets better tomorrow. And feeling invisible.

I wanted to share something written by a fellow mama….I See You. It is beautifully written.