Posts Tagged ‘aggression’
To the Special Needs Mom Hiding, You Are Not Alone
Dear Momma, I see you, driving down the road with tears in your eyes. I see the deer caught in headlights look as your hands firmly grip the wheel. You sob, uncontrollably, afraid to utter the words that well within your body. I know you utter how much your child is loved, how you wouldn’t change them for the world, that you will get through it together but I know you’d give your life in a heartbeat to have it so your child didn’t struggle with aggression. I know the…
Read MoreSpecial Needs Behaviors Can’t be Fixed With Traditional Discipline
We need to talk about discipline. Particularly discipline and special needs children. My oldest has Autism and a handful of other diagnosis. For most of his younger years he simply did not have behaviors at home. His behaviors occurred at school and I strongly subscribed (past tense to some extent) to the ideology that kids should not be double punished. That if something happens at school, and the child receives a consequence, that the child should not be double punished at home. Then my life exploded. A handful of close deaths.…
Read MoreThe Day My Son Hit Me
Autism is a spectrum. My son Jayden is on the severe end of that spectrum but what I always have held on to is the fact that he has never been violent, and he still has not intentionally ever hit me in a violent manner. He has swatted at me when making him push through school lessons. He has pushed me away when he did not want to do something. But he never hurt me, until today. Today, he kicked me unintentionally when I was changing him and I saw…
Read MoreThe Secrets We Keep
I backed out of the garage. Music blaring. Sunglasses on. To my neighbors it probably appeared like I was just running an errand. To the grocery store most likely. My neighborhood was alive as usual. So many people in their yards and driveways. I saw kids playing tag. Some were riding bikes. A few waved and shouted, ‘hello.’ I saw people gathered at the park. Babies in strollers. Dogs chasing balls. I live here, in this neighborhood. Suburbia. Every family much like ours. Two or more kids. Parents busy with…
Read MoreTopics We Don’t Talk About
I’ve been trying to find the words for a few days now. But coming up empty. I’ve been processing. Trying to understand, justify, explain and fix. But I haven’t been able to do any of those things yet. Instead I’ve felt sad. And ashamed. Worried. Confused. There are no child development books on this. We’ve entered a new stage of development. Hitting. It’s happened twice now. Fast. Quick. Out of the blue. His hands. My face. And I’ve quickly learned it’s a taboo subject. Parents don’t talk about it. We…
Read MoreMy Promise to You
My son. My promise to you. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. I will do everything I can to understand what you need. And why you act the way you do. I will defend your behavior. I will advocate for you. I will explain. Teach. And speak on your behalf when you need me too. And if there comes a day when you can speak for yourself, I will stand proudly behind you. I will be a buffer between you and the world. I will…
Read MoreCar Safety and Autism
Sharing our families huge wins is one of my favorite things to do on this page. Because I know how hard we worked for them. And how so many other families are working towards them too. Before we had the baby, Jamie and I agonized about Cooper’s lack of car safety. He would throw, kick, flail, even rock in his car seat so ferociously that the whole car would rock. We did everything we could to work on his tolerance. We did social stories. We rewarded. We split the boys…
Read MoreFinding a Way to Help my Son
I’m going to share something with you that I wasn’t sure I’d ever be strong enough to share with people outside of our world. But first let me ask you this question… If you had a secret that ultimately was the turning point on why your nonverbal, aggressive, severely autistic son could continue to live with your family, would you share? This is something that I’ve gone back and forth with in my mind whether to share and to be quite honest I don’t know completely why. So what if…
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