Tough parenting
The 'One Degree of Cooper' Game
Have you ever heard of the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game? Basically it’s this game where every person in Hollywood is somewhat connected with Kevin Bacon. My life is like this…except I would call it the ‘One Degree of Cooper’. Every single thought that goes through my head goes back to Cooper and my non-stop worry. I’m not joking. I see Cooper in every kid. Every person actually. And I have noticed that it’s starting to get out of control. I worry during the day. I worry at night.…
Read MoreCooper's just Cooper
Tuesday was a really tough day and it took me by surprise how hard it hit me. Just when I think things are getting better WAM. Like a freight train. I am so mad and so sad all the time that it just wears me down to nothing. And I’m tired of being mad and sad and tired of being tired. But most of all I’m tired of expecting things to be different. Maybe I need a big dose of acceptance? Maybe that’s the missing piece. I spent most of…
Read MoreJust Tell Us What To Do
Please God just tell us what to do. Simple as that. Cooper had an epic fail at speech today. As I type this I am actually shaking my head because it gets worse every single appointment. How? Why? Someone reading this might actually think I am joking. Or exaggerating. Trust me…I am not. I took Cooper to his speech appointment this morning alone and he did well for the first 20 minutes. Yes, he hopped from activity to activity but we were able to engage him. His therapist loves him and…
Read MoreInstead of Answers We Have More Questions
Yesterday was really tough. And for more than one reason. I actually thought about sugar-coating it because I feel like lately I have been posting such bad/sad stuff. But if we can’t be honest in our blog what hope do we have! A guy that I went to college with committed suicide last week and the funeral was yesterday. Tuesday night the whole gang from college got together. It was one of those moments where you haven’t seen each other for 10 years and all of a sudden you are best…
Read MoreAnother Baby
Hubs was feeding Sawyer a bottle the other day and I made a comment about how cute they looked. Hubs said, “well, this is most likely my last baby so I want to soak it up.” STAB TO THE HEART. In another life I would have had 4 or 5 babies. I love babies. All I ever wanted to be was a mom. I love being pregnant and the excitement of waiting to meet the new love of my life. I love the baby grunts and the smell and nursing and…
Read MoreWhat If My Son Never Talks?
I tell myself on a daily basis that Cooper might not talk. I have too…for me. (This is one of my freak out posts.) I am pretty sure it is a defense mechanism. I have even started saying it to my parents. It’s like I almost need to shock them or something. But not to be mean or hurtful. I need them to get it. I need them to understand that this is really, really serious. On a scale of 1 to Oh My God this is Oh My God plus one.…
Read MoreThe Never Ending Medical Debt
My husband jokes that he paid for health insurance his whole life and never used it until he met me. Hubs never gets sick. Never has a cold or the flu. He is like a freak of nature. Like clockwork I get sick every change of the season. So yes, it’s true. He knew nothing of doctor’s offices or EOB’s or medical debt until we started the baby journey. Hubs and I were married a little over a year when we first found out we were pregnant. And less than 2 months later…
Read MoreJudgey Eyes
Having a son who doesn’t talk puts a big target on my back. Cooper is different and yet he looks like a completely adorable, average boy. And in most cases he is. You would never know by looking at him that he doesn’t say any words. There are a lot of situations where people stare at us. For example, Cooper does a lot of high picture ‘talking’ in all vowels. Often, it is very loud. If we are at Target or wherever he will point and ‘talk’ away. Usually, he…
Read MoreI Give Up
I give up. Simple as that. I had a tough night followed by a tough morning. And honestly, that makes 10 months of tough nights in a row. My kids don’t sleep. I’m still nursing our youngest and he feels the need to nurse at least twice at night. And Cooper…well, he either sleeps 7-7 like a perfect angel or wakes up 2-3 times a night crying. We have never been able to figure out what the magic potion is. Nightlight, sound machine, Nuk’s, fan, earlier bedtime, later bedtime, etc. He either sleeps or he…
Read MorePlease Let This Be Our Year
This is a hard post to write but I need to do it. I need to know there are other moms out there who feel like I do. I love my son. I love every single thing about him. He is my life. But there are moments when I would give anything for him to change. Having a child who doesn’t talk is really, really lonely. There are no ‘mama’s or I love you’s.’ There are no ‘why’s or ‘I do its.’ The car ride home from daycare is the…
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