Tough parenting
Tough Conversations
Today the school psychologist came to our house to do the final in-person evaluation. Our IEP meeting is set for the day after Memorial Day. We are so damn close. The phsycologist recently observed Cooper at daycare and was shocked at how he acted like a different kid in different settings. I totally get this and could said it until I was blue in the face. I actually gave up trying to tell people becaue I started to sound like a broken record. At the school evaluations Cooper resembles Lucifer. And…
Read MoreThe Inability to Just Try
There is such a huge difference between ‘can’t’ and ‘won’t.’ Basically trying and failing or refusing to try at all. Cooper refuses to try and it makes me freaking insane. As a parent it is heartbreaking to see your child try and fail. And trust me, I know this firsthand. It seems like every week we are doing one or two evaluations and I watch as cooper fails it all. And then add in the fact that his 15 month old brother is toddling along side him doing it all.…
Read MoreMe Too. Such a Simple Thing To Say.
I saw this today. LOVE.
Read MoreFaith Is Easy To Have Until It's Tested
I wouldn’t consider myself to be a super religious person. I firmly believe in God and that he touches everything. Heck, I pray to God every single day and I have turned to God during especially hard times in my life. But there is something I need to get off of my chest. Faith is a funny thing. It is so easy to have Faith until it is actually put to the test. It is so easy to tell someone to trust in God’s plan. But when you are devastated and your…
Read MoreI Don't Want To Be Super Mom Today
I was told at the beginning of this process (or maybe it was the middle) that I wasn’t taking the help that was available to me for Cooper. This was said to me by someone pretty close in our lives. She went onto tell me that I was living in denial and I wasn’t get Cooper the help that he needed. When she said this to me it was like one of those slow motion moments where time stops. I could practically see the words hanging in the air. I remember looking at her…
Read MoreWay To Go Cooper, You Broke Mom.
Ever since Cooper was 1 or so I realized that he doesn’t understand holidays. Or presents. And he doesn’t care about food so that part is out. He’s afraid of seeing Santa or the Easter Bunny so that is out too. And he hates activities so there is no dying Easter eggs or carving pumpkins. I can get him dressed up in a cute outfit but he won’t sit still for a picture. Yesterday was awful for me. It was the worst holiday I have ever had. Honestly, I am…
Read MoreLet's just get through this 4 weeks of disappointment and move on with our lives.
How did it come to this? Coordinating calendars and therapy appointments. Managing meltdowns and lack of understanding. Hating myself. And my life. I guess I just don’t understand when it happened. I am sitting here trying to remember when it got hard. Cooper was a difficult sleeper from birth but besides that he was a great baby. Loved to eat. Loved to snuggle. Loved to be moving. Then we had the pooping issues. Then the hearing aid debacle. And I will say that whole shit show toughened me up. I learned how…
Read MoreGet Through Today. Better Days Are Coming.
Cooper is back. My sweet, smart boy is back. I know that sounds crazy right? Cooper has been a little monster for the last month or so. You can even tell by the theme of my blogs. A little over a month ago my posts were hopeful. Then, they changed. More fear, desperation. More anger. Things changed last week. I am so excited I have a smile on my face as I type it. Thank you God. He’s playing again. Laughing, ‘chatting’ non-stop. So much that he woke us up…
Read MoreIt's The Anger That Kills Me The Most.
I have been obsessed with autism/apraxia/SPD research lately. I don’t know why it just hit me so hard but lately it’s all I can think about. Cooper is such a mystery and doesn’t seem to fall into any one category. So, I have been scouring blogs looking for Cooper’s twin and I can’t seem to find one. I keep looking for a social 3 year old with no words who has delays. No go on that end but I keep finding all of these amazing moms that are so much farther than…
Read MoreThe Funny Things People Say.
I had a conversation over the phone with someone this morning who is very close to our situation. (This picture shows my face during the conversation.) They know the ins and the outs. And I don’t feel comfortable saying who at this point. And really, that isn’t important. What is important is the odd things people say to me. I wouldn’t say that I am secretive about Cooper (I have a very public blog!) but I also don’t advertise it or look for advice from people outside my inner circle. I bet…
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