Guest Post
The School is on Lockdown
My son’s teacher sent me a beautiful picture of my son with his classmates outside and enjoying the day a few minutes before I headed to pick him up. They had an egg hunt today at school and colored Easter eggs. Upon arrival, I was greeted by a police officer telling me that my son could not leave the building. (Special Needs pick up is 30 minutes prior to school letting out) I was hysterical. He said I could sit in the lobby or wait in my car and explained…
Read MoreHer Spinning
I told her tonight that if she wanted to cuddle she would have to stop her wiggling and squirming. She was hiding underneath the blanket by my toes: giggling. Total sensory overload. She crawled out and laughed and flapped and I told her again. Things need to be structured to go smoothly. She wrapped her arms around me reluctantly avoiding too much touch and squeezed gently. The whole process so uncomfortable for her. “One, two, three, four…” We started together and then her counting became as always rapid and just…
Read MoreI’m Thankful for my Unsung Hero
Its been almost 3 and half years since we received our son’s diagnosis of classic autism level 3. When we walked to the car that day I sat in my seat and just crumbled… As I sobbed and sobbed, you took my hand and said “we’ll get through this together.” You may not have known then but that’s exactly what I needed to hear. No one could have prepared us for this journey. The women and mother I was that day is not the same person I am today. Autism…
Read MoreIt Will Always Be Like This
It was a normal Monday afternoon. My boys were playing while I finished up my work on the computer. I closed the Macbook and started thinking about dinner when I heard a large thud followed by crying. My 20 month old had fallen off the toddler bed and hit his head. He was bleeding and a bump was forming. As I was trying to check it better and hold an ice pack on it, my sweet baby stopped breathing. He’d done this before. He gets so mad and screams and…
Read MoreHe’s Just Like Any Other Boy
I was making sure Austin didn’t follow someone through our gate the other day and this comment was made. “He’s just like any other boy” It’s not the first time this has been said to me, and I know it’s said with the intention to make me feel better and reassure me that Austin isn’t so different. That he is just like any other 5 year old boy. I don’t mind this comment because it is true. Austin can be like any other 5 year old. He wants what he…
Read MoreMy Sons have Autism
Those 4 words are just words, yet hold so much meaning to me. In February of 2018, my son who was 19 months old at the time, was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Mixed Receptive-Expressive Language Disorder and Global Development Delay. And 6 months later my older son, 9 years old at the time, was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Social Pragmatic Language Disorder. My now 10 year old was diagnosed with ADHD-combined type in 2014. Nobody explained to me then I’d be fighting the battle…
Read MoreI Wear the Mask Well
I am NOT a writer by nature. Well, never anything I have wanted others to read. My writing skills have never reached beyond the rambling of journals that are tucked far away from other’s eyes. I have struggled lately with overwhelming emotions and adjustments to not only how Autism changed our lives but to the schedule and workload that follows it. Most of my “breakdowns” happen in the quiet of night when I am alone, safe from judgement. I know I shouldn’t care but the demand to defend my feelings,…
Read MoreWhat I Wish the World knew about Autism Awareness Month
We have been on the autism journey for just over four years. I remember it like it was yesterday, sitting at the appointment watching the doctor run a series of predictable tests, biting my tongue and holding myself back from blurting out all I felt I needed to say. I watched her hand him toy after toy trying to see if he knew what to do with it (like give the toy bottle to the baby doll). And toy after toy he would throw it, or bite it, or break…
Read MoreTo the Women who Heard Me
“He qualifies for the full day program.” It was like being smacked with a brick. How on earth could I put my little boy, who said nothing, into the care of complete strangers and trust that he will be taken care of the way I take care of him. When my son was 2 years and 8 months old he went to a preschool screening and I was faced with another harsh reality, that he was still so behind. He qualified for all day preschool and would be starting there…
Read MoreThe Day I Lost My Autistic Daughter
It started off like any other Friday morning. I was rushing around trying to get 3 kids out the door for kindergarten drop off. There was a lot of “get your shoes on,” “are your shoes on yet,“ “that’s it we are leaving with or without the shoes.” Finally, after loading all 3 kids into the mini van we were off. I parked on Varian Way the same street we have parked on since my oldest son started school last year. The kids got out and we set off. Sadie…
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