Guest Post
How do I Explain Autism…
I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. How would I explain my autism world to someone with no experience with autism? I have two sons, ages 3 and 5. They both have moderate autism with severe communication delays. From a distance, or through filtered Instagram pictures, my sons look perfectly normal. Their disability appears discrete and insignificant to the untrained eye. How debilitating could it be? It’s absolutely devastating and almost invisible at the same time. My sons are verbal and I thank God for that. A verbal…
Read MoreHere I am Again
Quietly I sit listening to the silence of our home. I hear the peaceful sounds of my family’s dreams. Yet here I sit. Wide eyed with an exhausted body and mind. How could I shut my eyes when all I see are my fears of his unknown future? Worrying. Praying. Researching. Learning. This is my time. My time the thoughts I push away in the daylight creep in. I hate how they settle in for the night and determine their own curfew—when to call it good and let my mind…
Read MoreThe Little Boy in the Mirror
Young boy looks in the mirror and wonders, who am I to you? I know I’m some kind of different and not less Yet I’m more than just a condition Just have to accept me with love and understanding Because I’m that amazing, unique, and special all wrapped in one I see that little boy in the mirror now and I say You’re perfect just who you are Love doesn’t need no words You are worth everything and more Still I accept just who you are Because just like the…
Read MoreThe Best Big Brother
My son Xander has always been an amazing kid, above average in every way, but he goes above and beyond as a big brother. He wanted a little sister more than anything. He actually asked Santa! When we told him we were pregnant he was over the moon. He wanted a book that took him week by week thru the pregnancy and he read it more than once. He helped choose her name, he picked clothes and helped us set up her nursery. My favorite memory is at night he…
Read MoreHaving ‘That Child’
This is an open letter of sort to those that say that they could never deal with “that child.” You hear a lot about people saying they could not or would not have “that type of child.” Let me tell you about “that child” and those that love and care for them. That child has a heart bigger than most. That child has been through more than most “typical children” in a short period of time. That child has had to go through more surgeries, tests and invasive things than…
Read MoreBeauty in the Broken-ness
The older he gets, I often find myself focusing on the things my son Benjamin struggles with. Because naturally, the older he gets, the harder things become for him. It is a knee jerk reaction to hone in on the difficulties he’s experiencing because as his mother I want to “fix it” for him; I don’t want him to continue to struggle with things most children his age have no problem with. But the fact of the matter is, he will always be blind, and he may or may not…
Read MoreThe Box of Kleenex on the Table
On the 24th of August, my husband and I sat hand in hand to finish a year long diagnostic journey to understand why our son Romeo lives in such silence. I could feel Gerardo’s fingers stroke my knuckles as the words spilled from the specialists mouth. As they sat and explained therapies, research, support groups…my mind wandered to the Kleenex box on the table. My child wasn’t sick, his life wasn’t in danger and the world didn’t stop turning. Romeo didn’t stop being Romeo. We just had a name for…
Read MorePlease Allow Me to Feel the Hard Parts
Mother’s day has always been hard for me. Growing up with a single dad and a mother who was not a part of my life, (and when she was, caused a lot of heartache, confusion, and chaos) I always hated Mother’s Day. I have had some amazing women in my life step up and try to help take the place of an absent mother, but I’ll be honest and say that nothing ever fills that void. I thought becoming a mother would help though. I wanted nothing more than to…
Read MoreThat Day was the Beginning of Me
My oldest son was diagnosed with ADHD at 4 years old, which I jokingly (well sort of) say he got from his mother. We are both high strung, multi-tasking, over analyzing, high functioning anxiety stricken people. He was challenging as teachers put it but I totally got him. It was not a challenge in that I felt like I was looking in the mirror at myself and I could totally relate. My youngest son began having issues very early on but not in the typical autistic way. And it was…
Read MoreSometimes I Forget
Sometimes I forget that my daughter has autism. This may sound strange because of all the private therapies we do, the targeted activities at home to encourage her development, her specialized preschool, and more. It is as if our whole world revolves around autism, and yet the autism fades because all we see is our daughter. Sometimes I Forget She is Behind Ruby has been doing so well with her school and therapies. Just in the last 9 months she has made tremendous growth. She went from saying 1-2 word…
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