Guest Post
Never, Ever Give Up
Dear Autism Moms and Dads, We’re not so different, you and I. I imagine our days are filled with similar struggles, similar frustrations, similar fears. Sure, our kiddos might have different diagnosis or fall in different areas on the autism spectrum, but at the end of the day we can relate to one another more so than a lot of other parents can. With that being said, from one autism parent to another, I hope you can take this message to heart; never ever give up. You see, my husband…
Read MoreDear Co-Worker of a Typically Developing Child:
Dear Co-Worker of a Typically Developing Child: I am writing this because I hope this helps someone. I hope this teaches empathy to at least one person. I hope another mom, another special needs mom, can be spared sitting in a work meeting holding back tears, while visibly shaking, after a coworker belittles and breaks down whatever piece of soul is left that day. Because some days – it’s not much. Life with Autism is different for everyone. For me – every morning is hell. My son is angry and…
Read MoreMust Love Autism
“Do you have any siblings?” It’s a classic first date question, and rightfully so — it’s simple and seemingly painless to answer. It leads to an easy conversation. I can’t blame anyone for asking. “Yep, I have a younger brother, Alex,” I’ll reply. The follow-up question is almost always the same. “How old is he?” “He’s 23. We’re almost exactly 18 months apart. He has autism,” I always add quickly. As soon as I say it I wait for the reaction. A lot of the time people respond by listing…
Read MoreThe Questionnaires Still Sting
My son Jayden has settled into school and he is doing amazing. I am still pinching myself every day when I drop him off. We are now starting to incorporate the other therapies Jayden needs back into his new schedule. It is official. I have received my mountain of paperwork. All I have to say is, WOW! Jayden is eight and some of the questionnaires are still completely brutal to complete. I really thought at this point the questions would be less cumbersome or I would be used to the…
Read MoreHe Stayed While I Loved Her More
The moment I laid my eyes on her, I knew she would alter my life in ways I had no ability to perceive just yet. It would have been impossible to know that her love would beckon me to pour myself into her all day, every day for years at the risk of losing my husband. I was already in love with her, and we had just met. My husband, Greg, was the whole package. From the beginning, I knew he was out of my league, but that didn’t scare…
Read MoreFor Every Autism Mama
For the mama who has just heard the very words that split her heart in half. He has autism. For the woman is lost amid a tidal wave of appointments, and meetings, and therapy sessions—who thinks longingly back to the days of high heels, and boardrooms, and a paycheck. I get it. The mama who longs for a crystal ball to know the unknowable. Will he learn to talk, or read, or drive, or work? Will he graduate, or have a career, or get married? Who will take care of…
Read MoreThe New Normal
I’ve always hated phrases like, “the new normal,” or “it is what it is.” In my eyes these expressions are just the lazy person’s way of not trying hard enough to make a difficult situation better. We’ll just call it, “the new normal” and move on. I can’t make it better so, “it is what it is.” I’m getting older but it’s cool because, “50 is the new 40.” You get the idea. When my youngest of four children was diagnosed with autism eight years ago, it felt like anything…
Read MoreAcceptance
Yesterday my husband asked me, “have you really accepted the fact that Hank has Autism?” It’s one of those conversations we always find a way to circle back to. Between talking about services, school, behavioral interventions, potty training, aggressions, speech, etc, etc, we always come back to this. “Acceptance” There’s a pause. A comma perhaps,Most likely a big fat question mark? Usually when we ask it to each other, we are really in a sense asking it to ourselves. We are seeking reassurance and validation for our feelings. What we are…
Read MoreThe Rewards of Parenting
Yesterday my father in law reached out over text message to see how we were doing. It has been an unusually busy and chaotic time for our family and he was just checking in. I told him we were doing Ok, hanging in there at least. He responded with empathy stating he remembers how hard it is parenting three small children and having zero energy left at the end of the day to do anything for yourself. He went on to say “You sort of put your life on hold,…
Read MoreWhen the Birthday Invites Stop
Every time I see a mama happy and hopeful because their kid was invited to a birthday party it floods me with memories. And I want to tell them to enjoy them now because the invitations will stop. Kya was invited to every single birthday party in kindergarten. Birthday parties were incredibly stressful. And I went over the top on her parties. I thought if I made them amazing then maybe the kids would include her. I spent $1500 on her 5th Birthday and that was ridiculous. I realized I…
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