Autism
Our Kids are Life Long Learners
If I could go back in time, 6 years ago, and tell myself one thing and one thing only…it would be… Let me paint the picture for you first. I was just given a lifelong diagnosis for my child but no direction on how to help him. I was a scared mama. I was 28. This was my first baby. We lived in rural Minnesota and there was no help. No other kids like our son. I wasn’t hearing positive things either. Instead I was told things like, he will…
Read MoreMaybe It’s About Being Real
I’m the kind of person who is always searching for some big cosmic reason for things. I search for answers. Signs. I think way too much. I wonder why and how. I wonder how it all ends. As I get older, I’m learning that maybe it isn’t so much about understanding why. Maybe it’s about becoming the best version of yourself so you can become the best parent, advocate, protector, and teacher for your child. Maybe it’s about showing the world how amazing life can be when it turns out…
Read MoreThe Goal is Independence
Why do parents like me care so much about therapy? I’ve read some crazy reasons as to why. I’ve heard we are tying to make our kids not autistic. That ones bizarre. I’ve heard we are trying to change them. Suppress them. Even torture them. Equally ridiculous. None of those are true. Not for me at least. I take my son to therapy, day after day, when I should be working or watching my other son play hockey or cleaning my house, for one simple reason. I fight for insurance…
Read MoreA Morning in the Life of a Girl with Autism
Most mornings she wakes up around 6am. She enters the playroom and turns on all the lights. She turns them all back off. She turns them all back on. Then she comes to my room. The door is locked with a keypad. She enters 4 numbers. I don’t know which 4 numbers because I’m on the other side of the door. She enters the same 4 numbers again. I know because the pitch of the numbers is the same. And again. Then she knocks. 4 times. Bang, bang, bang, bang.…
Read MoreThe Graceful and Not So Graceful Lessons I learned in 2019:
Well adjusted, self sufficient, independent women can completely lose themselves to motherhood. Even ones who appear to have it all together. They can also find themselves again. Sleep deprivation presents itself as depression. And marriage problems. And weight gain or weight loss. And a whole lotta other tough words. Sleep deprivation is torture. You must find a way to sleep. Pour your energy into the positive people in your life. Surround yourself with them. Soak up their energy and laughter. Text them. Call them. Invite them into your crazy, weird…
Read MoreThe Mystery of Time
My son, when you were little, I would picture your future. Our future really. The beginning was hard. Mama can say that. You didn’t like to sleep. Or eat. Or sit still. Or play. You wouldn’t do any of the things that mama needed you to do either. Stack three blocks? No way Jose. Sit in a circle full of friends and listen to a story? Not gonna happen mama. Instead, you and I would do our own thing. It felt like we were in our own world. Just you…
Read MoreLearning to Lean Into the Fear
Sometimes I will be sitting in my living room, watching my son, and all of a sudden feel fear. It will come out of nowhere almost consuming my thoughts. Paralyzing me. I’ll see a flash of the future. A glimpse twenty years from now. It’s not fear of the diagnosis. Or the label. Not anymore. It’s not fear of being different or standing out. Nope, we embrace that here. And it’s not fear of paving our own path. Because there is beauty in achieving milestones and goals at a different…
Read MoreAdvocating for your Child’s Health
A wonderful medical professional once told me something that changed my way of thinking forever. She wasn’t some big huge doctor. I didn’t wait months for my son to get an appointment with her. And yet, she changed his life. My nonverbal son was sick. Really sick. But because he didn’t show the typical signs, I didn’t know. No fever. No ‘my head hurts.’ No pointing. No saying ‘ow.’ Instead I was seeing a lot of self injuring. He wasn’t sleeping. So much screaming. More gaining control through behaviors. And…
Read MoreAs Moms, We are only One Person
I read something the other day. It said that it appears that I neglect my middle son. I don’t share him enough. I wasn’t angry. Although it was Christmas Eve so I did side eye her timing. People say lots of things and don’t really fully understand that I share mere minutes of our day. Sometimes seconds. In fact, it got me thinking about motherhood. And time. Not love because we all know we love our children equally. Although I tend to increase mine a hair towards the ones who…
Read MoreI Give You Permission to Whine
Did you know there are some women out their who never whine? Or complain? Or even say it’s hard. I never knew that. I really didn’t. So, when I stumbled across a post on Facebook bashing women for talking, or as they said whining, about the hard parts of life, I was shocked. Apparently, these so called whiners hate their kids and husbands. It was a lot to take in I a tell ya. I realized, they are probably talking about me. I talk, whine, complain, vent all the time.…
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