Autism
You are Special for Just Being You
My sweet boy, I’m just sitting here watching you sleep. I often do this, just so you know. I sneak in your room and quietly sit on the bed near you. Someday I’m sure you’ll tell me I’m creepy with your speech device. Or maybe even say it. Secretly, I can’t wait. I can’t wait for that simple normalcy. But until then, this mama ain’t stopping because I like to watch you sleep and imagine what you are dreaming about. I like to rub your hair and snuggle you really…
Read MoreA Hundred Shades of Color
One of the things I’ve learned in my 39 years is that there is more than one way to look at something. Most things are complicated. Intricate I guess. They aren’t simple. While we assume things will be black and white, cut and dry, they are actually a hundred shades of color. I’ve even learned that my heart and mind can feel differently too. As if at odds with each other. I just took my oldest and youngest sons to the park this afternoon. Our park. The one place where…
Read MoreA Photo is Just a Snapshot in Time
I’ve found that someone can find fault in every photo. A paper plate, a ponytail, a pacifier, a child’s smile or weight. A women’s eyebrows or the paleness of a man’s skin. Dirty countertops and car seats, babies running around shoeless, and the amount of time a child spends on an iPad. Even a double chin or a cookie. I could keep going. A pacifier. A runny nose. Makeup. A diagnosis. Discipline. The amount of time a mother holds her baby. The length of time she breastfeeds. So much so…
Read MoreThe Special Mother by Erma Bombeck
The Special Mother written by Erma Bombeck “Did you ever wonder how mothers of disabled children were chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over the earth selecting his instruments of propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. “This one gets a daughter. The Patron saint will be Cecelia” “This one gets twins. The Patron saint will be Matthew” “This one gets a son. The Patron saint…..give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity” Finally He passes a name…
Read MoreSee Our Kids
See that man on the left there? He stopped by our home today to do business with Cooper’s dad. When he walked in…Cooper gasped. And pointed. And waved. Now knowing my sweet boy, I know that he will continue to wave until said person waves back. Sometimes, people don’t notice him because he is unable to speak. Or they are busy. Or they get uncomfortable by the bigger eleven year old boy waving so intently. I’ve seen it all. So, I often gently say…‘this is Cooper and he is autistic.…
Read MoreWhy I Share Our Story
It’s about meeting the parents. That’s why I do this. Write. Share. Let people into our secret world of autism. Your son reminds me so much of my son. I found you years ago when I felt so alone. You saved me. You don’t know it…but you did. When I have a sad day your kid’s smiles bring me joy. Thank you. You showed me this would be okay. I don’t share for follows or likes. Or to be recognized. Or any other reason like that. I share because the…
Read MoreYou are Making a Difference
I don’t typically call out comments on this page, especially negative, off-the-wall ones. Because if I do, I get scolded for giving them attention, or bullying the bully, or whining. But this comment, this one had me in stitches. I shared a beautiful post the other day about my son saying ‘cars.’ It was one of the most amazing moments of my life. It received nearly 3,000 supportive comments and one negative. One. From Anne. Anne was scolding me. She looked at the post about the 11-year-old boy saying his…
Read MoreThe Best Birthday Gift
This morning I walked downstairs to my sweet boy sitting on the couch, surrounded by his treasures. He waved. It was quick though. He was very busy watching his shows. He takes his show watching very serious. Especially on weekend mornings. ‘Cooper, it’s mom’s birthday today!’ I said. Now I don’t know what I expected. Not words of course. But a cheer. A smile. A gasp. But nothing. He looked back down. It stung. Like a tiny bee sting or a poke in the side. But the pain is duller…
Read More“When is it Sawyer’s Turn?”
As a mama I often feel like my mind is a Rolodex of memories. With four babies, I have so many of them. Births to birthdays, first smiles to first steps. Preschool graduation. Home runs. Road-trips. Some are readily available. Resurfacing often, bringing simultaneous smiles and tear to my eyes. But others, they are buried down deep, seemingly forgotten, until something reminds me. A sound. A smell. Another child. My younger babies doing what the now older ones once did. And there it is. A memory of something not forgotten.…
Read MoreAlways try One More Thing
People ask me every single day what advice I would give to parents of newly diagnosed kids. It’s a big question and I can think of so many things I would tell them. But one thing, the most important thing, the one that I feel is vital is… Always try one more thing. I can’t tell you how important it is. When I have been at my lowest, not knowing how to help my misunderstood little boy, both of us beat down by this world, I’ve wanted to give up.…
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