Autism
The Mistakes I’ve Made
I’m going to tell you a not-so-secret secret. I have made some mistakes over the years in my parenting journey. Shocker, right? Not really I suppose. There are no perfect parents, and this stuff is hard. I have three boys. They are 10, 8, and 2. I also am 28 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. Life is about to get a whole lot crazier. My ten-year-old has autism and on paper is nonverbal. My 8-year-old is my emotional guy. And the toddler, don’t even get me started on him.…
Read MoreI Don’t Know Why
Hi. My name is Carrie Cariello. I am married to a man named Joe. We have five children, and our second son, Jack, has autism. Nearly seventeen years ago, I gave birth to a baby boy with a neurological disorder. It impacts the way he eats, sleeps, talks, and thinks. Autism is a little like the ocean. One moment, the waves are calm, and quiet. You admire their wide blue solace. But in the blink of an eye, it changes. The water becomes turbulent, and chaotic. Every once in a while, I wonder…
Read MoreWhy Special Needs Mom’s Need to Find Their Tribe
I remember being in college and hanging out with friends all the time. You had your education friends, the friends you made during Freshman orientation. If someone was walking down the hall talking about Skyline Chili or LaRosa’s Pizza you’d hop in the car with them and go. Those were the good old days. The fun days. Then you get married and have kids and all of sudden your life is so unrecognizable and somehow during labor you forget how to make friends. It becomes this awkward thing. Where you…
Read MoreMy Son is More Than His Diagnosis
On this day 6 years ago, our son Shawn Corey received his official diagnosis of mild to moderate Autism. I can’t even begin to describe or express how we have all grown since then. I can’t even find the right words to express how proud my son has made me. I’d say the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that Shawn is so much more than his diagnosis. All people with special needs are much more than their diagnosis. He’s accomplished so much in the last 6 years I can’t even…
Read MoreWe Are All Worthy
Erase the word. Wouldn’t it be nice if it were that simple? There are certain words that have such a negative impact. Words that describe race, sexual orientation, substance abuse, and disabilities. As a parent of a child with special needs, I want to talk about the stigma of the derogatory word used to describe people with mental disabilities and the word that is also used as slang to make fun of others, in reference to them being stupid. I clearly remember sitting across from the psychologist as he was…
Read MoreSometimes She Teaches Me
My five year old was having a summer pandemic playdate complete with masks and social distancing. It had been a while since we had actually seen other people in-person outside of our immediate family. She was beaming for the first time in six months and was so excited to actually be able to play with a friend. Unlike me, she wasn’t nervous. She didn’t care about the mask. She wasn’t worried about maintaining six feet of distance. She was just so happy to get a piece of normal back. My…
Read MoreThat Old Famous Line
Close your eyes. And just for a moment think back to the most important piece of advice you got when you were younger, on how to treat others. This is mine, and I know you’ll recognize it… We were all told that famous line as children, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. And yet, I find myself exhaling extra deep when I hear specific hateful, mindless words fall from the mouths of children and adults alike, still, at this day in age. Words…
Read MoreThe “R” Word
Okay guys let’s talk about something…. The ‘R’ word. You all know the word I’m talking about. I want to ask you a favor…will you please erase this word from your vocabulary? For me. For my darling Oaklan. For every other special needs family in our neurodiverse world. So many people use the ‘R’ word as an off the cuff comment without a single thought to the long term effects it can have on someone. But I’m here to tell you, every single time a special needs family member hears…
Read MoreThe Power of Words
“I’m so tired of hearing about special needs kids. They’ll be fine. They were retarded before Covid they’ll still be retarded after. So let’s just keeps those kids at home and when this passes they can come back to school. Do you really think they’ll be any different after a year of staying home with their parents? Sounds like someone doesn’t want to deal with their special needs kid. Sorry you fucked got pregnant and had a retarded kid. Your problem not mine…” [sic] These words were written on Facebook…
Read MoreReal Joy
Can I tell you about a boy and his secret, amazing world. And joy. He is ten years old. His name is Cooper, although we mostly call him Snoopy Joe. He loves bright colors and snow and music and waving. He also loves Christmas. He doesn’t talk much. In fact, on the paper in my drawer it says he has level three, severe, nonverbal autism and an intellectual disability. There is more too. It’s a lot. He has a file. I don’t look at it much. Only when I have…
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