Autism
More Than Words Can Say
If you had asked me what communication meant five years ago, I would have answered without hesitation, “It’s conversation, talking and listening.” Then my daughter came along and showed me how limited that perception is. Evie is five and a half years old, and was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder three years ago. She doesn’t talk, not the way most people do. She does something called scripting, which for her means using words and phrases memorized from select shows, movies and songs to express herself. She throws them out like…
Read MoreOur Hopes and Dreams for Acceptance
This morning I sat my three boys down…well, a few of us sat down and a few of us played Paw Patrol and negotiated a train ride this weekend….and chatted with them about the month of April. I asked them what happens in April. I heard Easter, mom’s birthday, and something about two train movies arriving from eBay. I may have even heard a ‘butt cheek’ in there but I chose to block that out. All true. And then I shared with them how the month of April is the…
Read MoreClimbing Mountains
A few years ago, I posted on this page, trying to be funny of course, about the challenges of putting leggings on a wiggly semi wet child who had just gotten out of the pool. Because let me tell you, it was not an easy task. It was like running a marathon. The comments were sweet and funny, mostly telling me how cute my kid was…but of course, one stood out. The lady said something like…‘I would never dress my kid in leggings. He looks ridiculous (only she said another…
Read MoreThe Questions They Ask Me
The Questions They Ask Me…See these two boys? They are almost exactly 2 years apart. Cooper is 10 and Sawyer is 8. They are like night and day when it comes to most things. My 8 year old asks me the most amazing questions. We have to be alone though. Sometimes he will ask me if his dad is around, but he will say, ‘Mom, can I tell you a whisper?’ But usually he prefers to ask when we are alone in the car or snuggling in bed. How is…
Read MoreThe Beauty of Learning About Differences
As a mother to an autistic boy, I find myself trying to educate often. Kids. Teens. Unknowing adults. People who stare. People with kind eyes and people who are afraid of differences. I encourage questions even. Why does he flap his arms? Why does he roll on the ground? Why doesn’t he talk? Will he live with you forever? Some of the questions are easy to answer. Some are harder. And honestly, some I do not know the answers too. I may never. The visible differences used to make me…
Read MoreThe Biggest Gift
At the park last night, one of these boys played with boys his own age. He went up the slide and scaled the jungle gym like an acrobat. One of these boys chased after the older boys. They tickled him and he loved the attention. He went down the slide a hundred times and said…’mommy watch this!’ The other boy felt the mulch with his fingers, went down the slide twice because his mom asked him too, and spent the majority of his time tapping the metal garbage can and…
Read MoreThis is Why We Celebrate Everything
The email I just received said ‘I wish I had video of Cooper walking into school today. No one walked past him without him reaching out and then tapping his head to show off his new haircut. He was very proud!’ Last night Cooper had his hair cut. In our home. By a family friend. It was his best haircut ever. He sat the whole time and watched his iPad. We counted during the hard parts. Chatted about his rewards for being so amazing. Held hands. Took lots of deep…
Read MoreSeeing Autism Through Your Eyes
I don’t think about autism really. Not anymore. Or about my son being different than his peers. He doesn’t have a label at home. Or even a diagnosis. We don’t speak in clinical talk or point out how he is different from other 10 year old boys. He is Cooper. He is not autistic Cooper. He is not nonverbal Cooper. He is himself. Perfectly made and one of my three boys. I think that’s the beautiful part that comes with settling into a lifelong diagnosis. In the beginning, the differences…
Read MoreThe Gift of Sight
When I used to think about autism, back when the word meant nothing to us, and eventually when our son was first diagnosed, I used to think about the differences. Autism meant he would be different. And that made me so scared for him. Because I knew the world could be unkind. I would hyper focus at 3 am or while in the shower on all the ‘nevers.’ The differences. The worries that would drop me to my knees. He may never talk. He may never ride a bike. He…
Read MoreKeep Working on Independence
See that little one there? The one with chocolate on his face and holding two nerf guns? He is 2 years old and came out of the womb independent. His favorite thing to say is…‘I do it mama. I do it.’ He needs help from no one. My now 8 year old was the same way. Cooper, who was diagnosed with autism at age 3, was always the opposite. He’s never, to this day, had any desire to ‘do it himself.’ He’s very happy and content having mom and dad…
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