Autism
Finding the Silver Lining
Today was not a good day. Yesterday or the the day before was not a good day. My faith is shrinking. My patience is thin. My heart heavy and sad. And a lump in my throat is persistent. I sit with my head in my hands, holding back the tears. Tears of sadness, anger or frustration..I don’t know, maybe all at once. He is so unhappy. He is so angry. Why does he always scream? Why does he always want to hurt us? His OCD is so severe, it causes me anxiety.…
Read MoreYou be You
This kid. He has never played with a toy. At least not typically. It sounds funny to say out loud. Maybe almost unbelievable. But it’s important to remember that he doesn’t see objects like you and I do. He could care less about trucks and cars. He has no desire to throw a ball. Building with Legos has never crossed his mind. Make believe food for pretend picnics seems ridiculous. He adores train magazines. The older the better. He loves books about animals. Whales and penguins. Books about things that…
Read MoreDear Autism
Dear Autism, I’m writing this because some days you’re challenging and hectic. I can’t stand to see my son in pain…the lights are too bright or the sounds are too loud. I see my son trying to cover his face. And I can’t help but think..what can I do to stop him from feeling this way? I see strangers glare from across the store. I hear the whispers of what a bad mom I must be. How if I would discipline my son…then maybe they could get a little peace.…
Read MoreWe are Just More
You Must Be Sad… I’ve heard and read that phrase a few times over the past couple weeks. You must be sad your son rides the shorter bus… You must be sad he’s not in the gen ed room at school… And the zinger, the one I felt like a shot was fired and received, you must be sad you will never have a normal life… These statements, they don’t necessarily come from a place of hate or anger. They come from a place of misunderstanding. They simply don’t understand.…
Read MoreBuild a Life that Works for Your Family
It may not get easier, and some things may not get better, but you have the power to create a world that works for your family. I wish someone would have told me that when my son was first diagnosed with autism. Because, initially, and in the challenging years that followed, I will admit that we felt stuck in a lot of ways. We couldn’t do this or that. Like go to restaurants or church or fly on an airplane, go for walks, visit the mall. We said no to…
Read MoreI Will Give Him a Magical Life
Last night something monumental happened in our little world. Our middle son Sawyer had a gaggle of friends over playing and as they ran from room to room, crashing and bashing and giggling about farts and butts, our oldest son Cooper ran behind. He was the oldest of the whole group on paper. The big brother and yet not. He will be 11 in a few months. But he has no interest in Nerf Guns or ninja warrior games. He doesn’t acknowledge the coolest shoes or ask for a cell…
Read MoreI Wonder with Excitement
When my son Cooper was first diagnosed with autism, and in the beginning years that followed, I’d spend a lot of time secretly wondering what our relationship would be like. I was told he would never be able to talk. Or live independently. And a whole lot of other things as well. And I’d wonder. And worry. Would we ever have a conversation? Would we ever go grab dinner together at a restaurant? Go to his first concert? And so on. I’d wonder while driving and studying him in the…
Read MoreVitamins to Help Fill the Nutritional Gaps of our Picky Eaters, Autism Included
If you are a parent you know that many kids have food aversions and sensitivities. This is especially true for kids on the spectrum. And it’s so much more than a child being a picky eater. Tastes, textures, smells, new foods, and more can make meal time a nightmare. I experience it with 3 out of my 4 kids and only one has autism so I know that food challenges can be universal. I also know personally that when I eat better, I feel better. I know that water, fruits,…
Read MoreI am an Observer of Autism
I saw something recently that said if you are not autistic you are merely an observer of autism. I absolutely believe this to be true. I do not know what it is like to feel the world as my children do, I am not a martyr because I parent autistic children, and I am not an expert on autism. I observe as my daughter carefully pours sand in her hair not worrying about those around her. I let her do it, even if she is covered in dirt, because it…
Read MoreFocus on the Good
I want to tell you one of the lessons I’ve learned that has helped me be a better parent to my autistic son Cooper. It’s pretty simple really. It’s understanding that he did his best in any situation. It’s listings the positives instead of the negatives. Even if there are only 1 or 2. It’s focusing on the good instead of the bad. Let me explain. Tonight we went to a carnival. All six of us. Our popular social butterfly, our curious wild child, our sweet easy baby, and our…
Read More