When I share about parenting my autistic son, I often use the word ‘intense.’ Like you are in a crowded room and someone turns the temperature dial up bit by bit. Slowly at first. Then faster. Tick tick boom. Or I’ve even said it’s a game of negotiation. Me talking him off or on the ledge. There are no little things with his autism. Only big. It’s like his mind won’t let his body be calm. Like they are at odds. And it comes out of him. His body can’t…
My daughter, Kya is twelve and on the autism spectrum. Like most parents I wanted my daughter to get an education because that was what I thought was important and let me be very clear, reading and writing and an education are very important, but when you take a step back and live a different kind of life than the average typical person things shift on what is important. Self- care, self awareness and independence is most important for my daughter. My daughter has to know life skills. She has…
Four years ago I watched you from my son’s bedroom window as you went back and forth with your colleague in your car– attempting to convince her that my son had autism. You both had just evaluated him. I understood the urgency– I knew that you understood. I didn’t have a fancy job title and didn’t have an outwardly impact on our society. I didn’t possess any powers and my neighbors didn’t know my name. I didn’t have anything to give or anything to spend other than being the best…
Sharing your life on social media can be so rewarding at times. Helping other families, educating about autism, bringing awareness, has changed my life. Honestly, this is my purpose. I don’t’ want any other parent to feel alone on this journey…like I did in the beginning. But, with the good comes other parts too. And often, I truly feel like I am being scolded a thousand times over by people. I try to remember though; people are only seeing a 5-minute glimpse into our lives. That’s not much. A few…
The transition to school can be a challenging time for anyone. When you add having a diagnosis of autism and/or other special needs, though, it may be overwhelming. This is the main reason I want to become a champion for the cause in our schools. This is where my story begins of wanting to speak in our schools. When I was diagnosed with autism at 4, I was just starting Pre-K. My parents had to transition to helping me find supports while I had to transition to going to school for…
I have been her mom for around 2,920 days, add a couple extra for the leap years. I have provided comfort and care, lessons again and again, and I have offered absolutely nothing as much as I have given love, acceptance, and gratitude. The honor to be hers is mine, and it’s by no small miracle that she made it to me. Eight years ago today, I was in the delivery room as an angel gave birth to my girl. Within our first moment together, I knew I was everything…
Sometimes, I feel like all we have are rules. There’s rules and restrictions for everything in our house. My son Daniel is six and has autism and ADHD. He loves playing with toys, but they easily frustrate him. Especially if they have small pieces, can break easily, or have a lot of accessories. There’s a toy he has from Incredibles 2 that was taken away recently because it made him mad. He wants to play with all his toys at once, but he doesn’t understand that when you mix and…
What if all we had to do was love our children? Love them through their mistakes, their poor judgment, their outbursts. Their vulnerabilities. Their moods. Their highs and lows. My son Jack is diagnosed with autism. He is eighteen. For eighteen years, doctors and therapists have told me what to do. Use social stories, try medication, redirect his obsessions. No one ever told me to simply love him. Love the way his hair smells after a bath. Love the way his chubby fingers grip a pencil. Love how earnestly, carefully he…
This is baby Harbor. The third baby. The third boy. The third little thief of sleep and sanity. He turned 4 years old in October. The word I would use to describe him is…curious. He is kicking soccer balls, negotiating in full sentences, eating with a fork, and playing hockey. Although, he likes to sing songs and do experiments more. Of all three of my boys, he is the busiest. He wants to know how things work. Like the toilet. And Kleenex boxes. And mud puddles. He has the biggest…
Dear Autism Momma, I’m sorry. I didn’t know then what I do now. I didn’t understand. I’m sorry that when your child was having a meltdown in the grocery store, instead of offering to help or extending compassion, I walked away judging how in the world you could let your child act that way. I’m sorry that when your child sat in the grocery cart long after expected, I didn’t extend grace. All I could think about were the “rules” and how no one ever followed them like my children…
