I think I am pretty good at pretending I don’t care about things. It comes with the territory I guess. I can’t get sad about every thing that happens. That is no way to live. But holidays and autism will forever devastate me. And the holiday season is right around the corner. I care a whole bunch about Halloween and Christmas and Birthdays. Judge away people. I know someone will want to tell me….”You can’t make Cooper celebrate. You are sad for yourself. You are sad because you are missing…
I think about that a lot. How is this blog going to end? When I first realized Cooper was delayed I became obsessed with finding another kiddo like him. And to take it one step father onto the crazy train that I was riding…I wanted that kid to be healed. Or fixed. Or however you want to put it. I needed to find a kid that was nonverbal at 3 who ended up talking and leading a normal life. Now, don’t freak out on me here…but I have yet to find that…
Cooper gets done with school at 4:30 M-F. I pick him up every day. I chose to do this because the thought of him being on a van in rush hour traffic with a stranger as a nonverbal autistic child actually put me in the fetal position on my bed. I can deal with him riding the bus ‘to’ school but not both. So, I pick him up. I usually get there about 4:10 because there are 7 parking spots for 100 people. Ok, I am exaggerating a bit but not by much. The…
Cooper’s first school drop off…in pictures:
This past week Jamie and Sawyer were wrestling on the couch. They were tickling and laughing and I was reading and sorta paying attention. I heard Jamie say something to Sawyer that absolutely took my breath away. Sawyer was babbling about balls and apples and playing ball and going outside. The usual with that kid. And then I hear Jamie say, as he was hugging him, “I can’t wait to take you to baseball games and play ball just like I did with my dad.” It was one of the most…
Last Friday Jamie and I visited Cooper’s new school. During the first portion we met as usual, in a tiny room, with Cooper’s psychologist and the Intake Coordinator. It went well. We talked about goals and expectations. Every kiddo that starts at Fraser begins with the same goals. They range from eye contact to stopping and when asked and playing with toys. My two concerns with Cooper starting school are: I need to know that they are going to challenge him. When Cooper is even the tiniest bit challenged he…
I can relate to this so much. Greatest fears: I am scared that I am going to die before Cooper can live an independent life. And, that he’s never going to talk.
I had a close friend over this weekend to help us with our house remodel. 17 times, yes I counted, he said, “I think Cooper is going to talk someday.” He was so hopeful. “I just know it Kate, he is going to talk. Don’t give up hope. He’s so close.” And it went on. “It’s going to happen. We just need to break through.” How dare he? He has no facts. No medical knowledge of the situation. I don’t think he’s ever heard of Apraxia or read a sentence…
So as a new Autism parent I find myself muttering the words, “I freaking hate Autism” on a regular basis. Actually, in our house we call it ‘Tism.’ Short, sweet and almost cute. We always tell Cooper we are going to tickle the Tism right out of him. Cooper has been a happy kid lately. Part of it is because we aren’t going to therapy right now. We aren’t challenging him. But the other reason is that we have successfully removed a lot of Cooper’s triggers. Many of these will make…
So there is a big story in the news right now about the mom who tried to kill her autistic daughter. You can read the store HERE. I have been thinking about this nonstop and contemplated writing about it. And then not writing about it. This is a touchy subject that I normally wouldn’t touch but here is what I will say… I have never known loneliness like that of a special needs parent. First, I don’t condone what she did in anyway. Let me say that first. But what…
