There are four sides to autism. At least that’s the way I see it. There is Cooper. He has autism. Then there is me and his dad and his brother and family. We have different expectations and emotions about Cooper. There is the rest of the world and how they perceive Cooper. There are teachers and aids and therapists and insurance companies. Doctors, financial aid workers. You name it. Cooper has it. And then there is the business side. Yesterday, while working an 8 hour day, I answered 4 phone…
Read MoreI gave Cooper a sign for Halloween. It was simple. It said Trick-or-Treat. I gave it to him because he looks so much like a typical child and people don’t know how to react when he does things. They get nervous. I get nervous. And then Cooper gets nervous. By giving Cooper a sign I removed the guesswork and answered the questions that people have. ‘Is there something off with that child?’ We’ve all been there. You’ve all wondered it. Let’s be honest. You see a kiddo or even an…
Read MoreI thought getting a diagnosis would be easy. My son is different. He doesn’t talk. He flaps. He screeches. He hates to be touched by strangers. As a baby he never slept. Ever. He cried constantly. Endless ear infections, stomach issues, constipation, hearing problems. The list goes on. He never babbled. To this day he’s never said a word. I thought it was obvious. There is something wrong. Tell me what it is so I can fix it. That’s what you do. It’s broken and you fix it. No one…
Read MoreI took the boys to the beach this past weekend to soak up some of the last bits of summer. The beach is kind of our place to go. Cooper does his thing and I play with Sawyer. Cooper loves the sand and will spend hours (if I let him) throwing rocks and sand into the water. So yes, it is best if we go when no one else is there. He doesn’t notice if people are in the way. He just throws. This is the isolation I always talk…
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Six months or so ago my dear friend Alicia put something into motion.. She saw a Facebook post by a photographer asking for people to nominate extraordinary special needs families. This amazing photographer, Kacie K Photography, understood firsthand how challenging and upsetting something like having your pictures taken can be for an autistic child. And for their parents and siblings. Unbeknownst to me, Alicia nominated our family. Here is her letter to Kacie K Photography: Kacie, First of all thank you for providing the opportunity for a family to have a photo shoot…
Read MoreLiving with Cooper is stressful. I feel it. I’ve always felt it. Half of this damn blog is about the stress of autism. Since the day he was born sleeping has been a challenge. Eating is hard. The list goes on. I know that as a family we walk on egg shells to avoid meltdowns. We give in when we shouldn’t. We allow behaviors we shouldn’t. Candy and suckers and bribes are used more than they should be. We are at the mercy of autism. Cooper throws. He lashes out.…
Read MoreIs Cooper my greatest pity party? Such an interesting question. It was said to me the other day. In anger of course, but there was something behind it. It had some legs on it. And it truly got me thinking. Is Cooper my greatest pity party? Hhhmmm. I am very open that I am heartbroken over Cooper’s autism. It’s gotten better after almost 5 years but, nevertheless, the heartbreak is still there. I am also a tad bit bitter over how my life is different. Which is the part that a…
Read MoreI’ve been thinking a lot about Cooper attending kindergarten next year. Right now he goes to an autism preschool at the actual elementary school. He rides the bus. Which is great. His class has 4 other kiddos in it. And every day they join the typical 4K kiddos. It is a completely controlled setting. It’s 3 hours long and Cooper has a teacher and an aide and a speech therapist and an occupational therapist. He lives in a bubble. When I went to the open house this year I watched…
Read MoreIf you talk to parent’s of autistic kids they will often say that their kid goes through periods with no improvement. And often you can mix in a little regression. For example, when Cooper was two years old he forgot how to drink out of a straw. Or sleep is a big one. Cooper didn’t sleep through the night until he was 2. And then slept through the night from age 2 to 3 and then suddenly stopped again. There is no rhyme or reason. Look at your child right…
Read MoreThere are a lot of first times in our children’s lives. There are good first times and bad first times. This is life. And then there is the first time another person is mean to your son because he is autistic. It finally happened. I’ve been waiting actually. I knew it was coming. Cooper is so loud. He runs. If he gets super stressed he will push people. It’s partly sensory seeking. Partly out of not knowing what to do. He has very, very little self awareness. And zero understanding…
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