As a mom to a little boy with severe, nonverbal autism, I spend more time than I would like to admit wondering if this is all going to be okay. Will my son be okay and safe and thrive in a world that isn’t designed for him? I wonder if I am doing enough for him? Heck, I wonder if I am enough for him? And I’ve learned one thing. At our darkest, lowest points in life, something beautiful will happen. Something unbelievable. Something that will rejuvenate you. Give you…
I looked down at my cell phone this morning. 37 unread text messages. 37. Dear God. Thousands of unread emails and Facebook messages. Have I been on vacation? No. Taking a social media/world time out? I wish. Nope. It’s been a long couple of weeks. My baby isn’t sleeping. And by isn’t sleeping I don’t mean waking up once a night. I mean waking up 3-5 times a night. And then I got hit with a cold. That happens when I get over tired. My body literally shuts down. It’s…
To the Counseling Faculty, You were not sure how I would be able to be successful in your graduate program because I used a communication device and had physical limitations. You had concerns about how I would keep up with the fast pace of the courses because I need more time to complete coursework that were to be done during class. It is no surprise that I was not like the other students in my cohort, but you still accepted me into your program. During my time as an undergraduate,…
Lauren Bergner spent months preparing her 6-year-old son Brody for a family trip to Disney World. Like my son, and many of our children, Brody has autism and communicating with him about trips before they happen helps him to adjust more easily. Even though she did everything she could to prepare her son, Bergner knew a meltdown would probably happen at some point because Brody is sensitive to noise and crowds. And I will add as a mom to a little boy like Brody, I know that heat and any…
As goes the public domain of the internet, all bloggers get trolls on their pages. I handle them by deleting their posts and shutting them down. I deleted four comments this week because I’m too busy to engage with people who can’t be reached. I want to be here for all of the moms who have emailed me and reached out to tell me how my story has helped them. This leads me to why I share our story. Why do I expose myself to the crazies of the internet? …
I just received a phone call from the office that my son’s doctor referred us to for an autism evaluation. I expected they would be calling soon to schedule an appointment. What I didn’t expect was what actually took place on the phone. I just sat there like an idiot, not even sure what to say. *Ring Ring Me: Hello Her: Hi, is this Mrs. Foster? Me: Yes it is. Her: I’m calling from (insert office name here). We received a referral for your son for autism testing. (quiet pause)…
‘You prepare yourself as a parent for siblings to pass your disabled child by. But wait until your grandkids do too. That one will take your breath away.’ That comment. It was said to me, with love, from a mom that had been doing this for 57 years. Her son is 22. He’s like my amazing Cooper. Nonverbal. Severe. Smart. Funny. Loving. He will need lifelong care. He will forever need help bathing and brushing his teeth. He will never pay taxes or have a job. He will never get…
To the parents who say it’s hard. And talk about the hard. The ones who don’t hide. Or lie. Or fake it. But instead learn from it. And let the hard make them stronger. I see you. To the parents that have figured it out. Or at least figured it out enough. Thank you for helping others. For supporting and lifting up. For answering a midnight text saying, ‘I can’t do this anymore. ‘And reminding them, ‘yes, you can.’ To the parents who don’t judge. Who offer a hand, dinner,…
I am a ‘take it one day at a time’ kind of mom. And some days, when my kids aren’t sleeping or I feel like I am losing my mind, I’m a ‘take it one hour at a time’ mom. Just make it through the day. To bedtime. Or through the night. The sun will surely rise. This mothering thing will be easier tomorrow. It’s a new day. But I want you to know that I didn’t start to truly accept my son’s special needs until I began to feel…
Today, I brought my son Sawyer to his first grade assessment at his school. We opened up all of his school supplies and put them in his backpack before we left. He was chattering nonstop while sharpening his pencils. He hoisted up his backpack while exclaiming how heavy it was. We walked to the truck. He opened his door, climbed in and buckled his seatbelt, immediately asking me to play Lizzo. He asked me what his teacher’s name is and where his classroom is going to be. I pretended to…
