Posts by Kate Swenson
Bad Timing
Want to hear about bad timing? My nephew, my little sister’s first child was born around 4 am on August 7, 2014. At 10 am that morning I was told that my 10 week old fetus had no heartbeat. The next day, my 31st birthday would be spent physically ridding my body of the baby I had prayed for…for a year. I have a photo of me holding my beautiful nephew Jackson that day. I genuinely felt such happiness for my sister and brother in law but in the picture…
Read MoreA Message From Your Child’s Occupational Therapist
Dear Parents, I remember the first mother who told me it broke her heart that her little boy couldn’t tell her about his day at school. I thought about it on the train home, then while I made my dinner, and again as I fell asleep that night. I thought of one of my Mom’s favourite stories, about how I had come home from my first day school and proudly announced I was “the best of a bad lot”. I thought about her smile when she tells this story even…
Read MoreI Need You Too
Since the day you were born, I knew that being a Mom was my purpose in life. I loved every single moment. The late nights, the cuddling, even the poopy diapers. That feeling, knowing that someone needs you… is amazing. Although, I thought it would only last for a little while. The needing. The constant. Now, you are four. And you still need me just as much now, as you did when you were a newborn…and I can’t help but wonder if that’s how it will be forever? Will you…
Read MoreMy Promise to my Son
My son, I have never met a person who works as hard as you just to live in this world. I think so often we forget that this place simply doesn’t make sense to you. Or kids like you. You like and need things different than the norm. It’s too loud, too bright, too smelly. It’s crowded and overwhelming. And people just don’t understand you. They don’t take the time to listen or see you or understand. But every single day, you persist. You try. You practice. You adapt. You…
Read MoreMy Special Needs Truths
To the people that live outside of the special needs world. Here are my truths: Parenting is hard. So is special needs parenting. I’m allowed to say that both are hard at times. Talking about the realities of severe autism is not negative. It’s not pretty and wrapped up in a bow. It’s very real and raw. And until you live it, please be kind to those who do. I will be raising a child who needs lifelong care until the day I die. While other children leave the nest…
Read MoreWe Made A Bucket List
I have a bucket list. I used to think such things were cliche and cheesy and what does it really do anyway? And then, at 24, I became a mom. I really wanted to be a mom. In high school, on career day, I dreamt about lots of careers but in the back of my mind I always thought, but I’m gonna be a stay-at-home mom so I never really took those dreams very seriously. One cold January day, my dream came true! The little baby boy I had prayed…
Read MoreAn Open Letter to the Parent of a Child with a Disability
Dear Parent of a Child with a Disability, I saw you today at the local children’s hospital. Your body looked worn from the long days of countless appointments, multiple doctor visits, and always being on watch for another possible seizure stealing your child away. Your hair was pulled up in a ponytail, enabling you to always be able to react to any needed circumstances. Your little one lay her head quietly on your lap, she, herself so worn from the past 75-hour hospital stay. Yet, you smiled kindly on her,…
Read MoreThank You to the People Who See My Son
I want to thank the people who see my son. The people who ask how he is doing. Who on a Facetime say, ‘Let me see the boys. And Cooper too.’ Because while Sawyer and Harbor are demanding to talk and be seen, Cooper is not. Thank you to the people who wave to him on the street and say hi without needing a response. Who talk to him, even though they know he won’t answer back. Who aren’t afraid of his protesting at the park and instead ask him…
Read MoreThe Only Moments That Matter
This morning I saw a commercial. It was for some insurance company. Perfect family, house and kids. The oldest graduating from high school. The tag line something like…these are the moments we prepare for. The only moments that matter. I’ve been thinking about it all day. My mind keeps going back to it. The only moments that matter… First day of school. Graduation. A college acceptance letter. First job. A promotion, Marriage. Babies. Retirement. But what if a person doesn’t achieve those moments? Does their life not matter? My son…
Read MoreI Wish We Didn’t Have to Fight
Sometimes I wish we didn’t have to fight; fight for services, for inclusion, for equality. But I know that is not the case. We will always have to fight because my 4 year old, nonverbal son diagnosed with autism will never be fully accepted by everyone, and that makes me so incredibly sad. I am reminded of this from time to time and every time it stings. This week I was reminded again how the neurotypical world doesn’t quite understand and accept my son. Franklin has been in an Early…
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