Posts by Kate Swenson
Beautiful Butterfly
Dear Hunter, I know we’ve never met, but I read about your mama. I felt very sad inside, like something was spinning and turning. First thing I want to say is your mama, she loved you. That is the most important thing to keep in your mind and your heart during the hard days ahead. She fought for you, and learned from you. See, even though you are only six, you are a great teacher. Most people with autism are, you know. Six is a good age. Six is when…
Read MoreTo Any Special Needs Parent Who’s Having One Of Those Days
Dear Special Needs Parent, I know some days are tough. You are beaten down. Your child is having a meltdown. Your teenager is having challenges at school and your young adult is desperately trying to be placed in a job or find somewhere to live. No matter what the obstacle is, we’ve all been there, special need parent or not. We want to run away at times because we wonder to ourselves “Will it get better? CAN it get better?” Your son can’t be bathed because of the texture of…
Read MoreI Hope They’re Nice
I’m a fairly laid back mom. I roll with a situation because if there is one thing I’ve learned in my almost seven year parenting journey is that NOTHING will go as planned. If it does, I usually listen extra carefully because I’m sure the apocalypse or Jesus are coming. One thing that special needs parenting in particular has taught me is that you need to have a plan months in advanced and while making that plan you should probably make plans B-Z because there’s a chance that what ends…
Read MoreManaging My Fears and Worries
I believe in honesty, transparency, and reality. So, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared about providing lifelong care to my son. And there are times when that fear can consume me. It will eat me up at 3 am if I let it. But I’m working on it. I’m working on managing my fears and worries. And I’m working even harder on teaching my son all that I can to help him achieve his greatest level of independence. I push. I pull. I teach. I hope.…
Read MoreTo the Mama Whose Baby Isn’t Starting School Today
To the mama whose baby isn’t starting school today. To the parent who is wondering if they should take the picture. And wondering if they should celebrate just another day. To the dad whose sending some kids back to school but not the others. To the parent feeling a twinge of sadness today. Or a lot. I understand Your child doesn’t go to a typical school. They go to therapy. There are no grade levels. Just continuous time. Or maybe they do but they aren’t really in a grade. On…
Read MoreSix More Years
On this day, six years ago we were so confident in our adoption journey, we shared that we had been chosen. As I look at us and who we were, I see so much more than two rested soon to be parents. I remember the tears, the years and the struggle to become parents. I remember the decade of living with an empty crib as various agencies told us we were ready and waiting. The dreams of what it would be like. Mostly, I remember the joy that filled my…
Read MoreAll I’ve Been Told
Oh, he’s not talking yet? Kids do things in their own time, there’s no need to worry. Don’t rush to label him. A label could hold him back in life. You need to do something to get him sleep. You should let him cry. Maybe try co-sleeping. Oh, co-sleeping is very bad. He’ll eat when he’s hungry. Don’t tell everyone he has autism. People will judge him for it. You look tired. Have you tried essential oils? Have you looked into a gluten-free diet? Have you considered horse therapy? He…
Read MoreSometimes You Just Do Not Need Words
My daughter does not speak as much as a three and half year old should. She thinks a lot. She understands. She is very bright but she cannot express her feelings and experiences into words. She has never said her belly hurts or that she is scared. I have never heard about her day. She has never asked me why a sound of something is super loud, in fact she has never asked me a question about anything, not one single time. The other day I picked her up…
Read MoreComing Up For Air
The day that we finally received a diagnosis for my son was the day that the flood gates opened. After eighteen months of second guessing myself, of my pediatrician telling me that I was just being an overprotective new mother, I finally had the confirmation that I needed. Not that I desired. Not that I wanted. I physically needed it. I finally had the affirmation that there was something genuinely out of the ordinary going on with my child. I’m not sure if you, whoever you are, have experienced this type of…
Read MoreSwinging And Success
There is something about a summer night. We took a last minute family walk with promises to check the mailbox after two slides down the slide and one swing for ten seconds. Well, he nailed the walk and went down the slide three times! And, he swung for over a minute. On a big kid swing. While dad pushed him. Before Cooper I never knew that swinging can be hard. That holding on takes a lot of muscle. And that it would take years just to get him on the…
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