Archive for May 2020
When Mother’s Day is Hard
Mother’s Day for a special needs mom does not look like everyone else’s day… I spent my Mother’s Day redirecting behaviors that were furiously present this week. I’m not saying this as negative, I’m saying it because it’s true, and I’m recognizing the hard. I try to share the good more than the bad, but sometimes the hard is an important part of our story too. It isn’t always positive new skills, or new words, or meds that work for a day or two. There was no sleeping in or…
Read MoreLet Me Be A Fly On The Wall
I often catch myself thinking, if only I was a fly on the wall. I’ve uttered those words to your therapists after they share the celebrated moments of your morning. Moments you have worked so hard for. Harder than most. Moments like when you said ’swing’ for the first time. Tried a strawberry. Waved hello to another child. Pointed to the object when asked, “Where is the…?” Hugged a stuffed animal. Moments I thought I would witness first. Moments I thought would happen with me. Precious child of mine, I…
Read MoreYet, I Worried
Imagine living each day surrounded by reminders of the challenges you face. School, and therapy, and even Mom and Dad, all well-intentioned but whose best efforts revolve a great deal around examining those challenges, and how best to address them. And then there’s baby sissy. Who by all accounts doesn’t understand that Leo is considered “different” by some. She doesn’t see challenges, delays, or stims, or even lack of language as a negative…Instead, she hangs on every one of his vocalizations. Every stim and every move he makes. She doesn’t…
Read MoreThe R Word
Let’s talk about the “R” word. I hate this word. I hate that this word has become a norm for people to use, whether intentionally or jokingly. The R word is hurtful. The R word is mean. We’ve all said it. I’ve said it. Before I had Gracy, I was guilty of using this word as a way of lazily describing my feelings…how I felt about something or how I felt about someone. This all changed for me eight years ago. At 30 weeks (I think) pregnant, I was told…
Read MoreJust Like Any Other Seven Year Old Boy
He was sitting in the chair watching tv – just like any other 7 year old boy – and for just a moment it broke my heart because he isn’t like any other 7 year old boy. He has autism. He doesn’t talk. He can’t always make his hands go where you tell him to. He can’t tell you where he hurts. He isn’t potty-trained. There are so many things he can’t do – might never do – and if you start thinking about it, ‘what he can’t do’ can…
Read MoreThe Path to Normal
A few evenings ago I finally took the leap and joined an online Autism support group that I’ve been eyeing up for a very long time. It’s a smaller, more personal support community called Coops Troops, filled with interviews, live chats, videos, supports and resources for a small monthly fee. I had put off signing up for so long and kept finding myself pulled back to it; Coronavirus isolation pushed me to jump on it. So I leapt, finally, and with much excitement. I did not know that I was…
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