Archive for March 2020
Love and Marriage and Our Son
I have been married for twenty-one years. My husband Joe and I have five kids. Our second son has autism. He is fifteen. Now, I may not know much, but I do know children exert an extraordinary amount of pressure upon a marriage. They like teeny-tiny constriction workers, yielding jackhammers If you add one in who never sleeps, smears soap on the walls, and screams all day, well, that’s when things get really interesting. You is righteous. You are never home on time. You have to take care of the…
Read MoreWhat They Don’t See
They don’t see how much you are struggling just to enter a room full of people. They don’t see your mom cringing and scanning the room immediately for triggers or danger. They don’t see how bright the lights are or how loud the conversations can be to your beautiful brain. They don’t understand why you cover your ears, bite your shirt, or self injure because the anxiety is too much to handle and your meltdown is not a typical toddler meltdown and you don’t know how to self soothe. They…
Read MorePlease Remember the Kids Like My Daughter
I can’t catch my breath. Not because I’m sick. But because I’m scared. I know that this is a difficult time for all of us. I’m especially scared though for my daughter Liz and for other kids with special needs. And for their families. Liz’s therapy center is now closed indefinitely. No ABA, no speech therapy, no occupational therapy. I am scared that she will regress and lose much of the progress that she has made without access to these therapies. She has worked too hard and come too far…
Read MoreSocial Distancing; A Way of Life for Some
Social distancing. For a lot of people this is a new concept. Being alone, nowhere to go, no play dates, no birthday parties, no big family gatherings…staying home alone seems to be make people very uneasy. It’s hard and people are reassuring each other that “it’s just temporary“ and that life will go back to “normal” soon enough. But for some of us, this has been a way of life for a long time. What if this is your new normal? I get it. I used to be the mom…
Read MoreTwo Strangers with One Incredible Thing in Common: Autism
A few years ago, when my daughter was diagnosed with autism, I went down the wormhole of Instagram searching for someone who could understand. I didn’t know a single person on the spectrum, and all of my friends had typically developing children, so I was desperate to connect with anyone who could say, “I get it,” instead of the “I can’t imagines” that were being hurled my way. And then I stumbled upon a beauty queen. A title holder in the Miss America Organization, to be exact. A woman with…
Read MoreThe Unspeakable Word
If you are a parent like me with a child on the spectrum, chances are we both have something very unique in common. Something that most would think is a very simple thing to do, something that is just a part of life. But for us, it’s not. Do I dare say this forbidden word? I don’t know if I can handle to even whisper it…but here it is: “HAIRCUT”. Yes, there, I said it. This word in the Autism world for most is a very, very bad word and…
Read MoreThe Battle of the Winter Festival
You don’t get to choose when it comes to Autism. A meltdown can happen at any time…be it in the privacy of our home or in the middle of a hallway at an elementary school crowded with people attending the annual winter festival. We can do everything within our power to prepare for each different situation, but variables beyond our control always seem to find a way to slide into our path, and cause us to stumble. As a parent of a child with Autism when I hear events…
Read MoreSomeone Will Always Have it Harder
Many times in my life I have felt guilty for complaining. You know, because someone else has it harder. This happened a lot when I was in a bad place going through something hard in my life. Like divorce, being a single mom, the struggle with school (when having a child with gifts or special needs) becoming a step parent and blending families, and so many other situations that broke me or made me crumble for an hour, for a day or maybe more. But it wasn’t until I had…
Read MoreThere is No Summer Vacation for Working Autism Parents
February is over and the pressure is on. What are we going to do with our daughter Ally this summer—the void of endless time and childcare needs? Ally is on the autism spectrum and will be 6-years-old this summer. The part of parenting I never expected to hate the most is summer. I always imagined we would plan trips, go on adventures, and spend a few weeks together each year making memories, the way families should. But for our family, there are no vacations and trips as we juggle to…
Read MoreMom Asks ‘AITA’ For Not Making Daughter Invite Autistic Child To Her Party
Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids, and my second son is diagnosed with autism. He is fifteen years old, and his name is Jack. I write a lot about autism—how is affects me, and my family, and my son. Yet I rarely write about current events or news stories, unless it’s about a complicated kid making a buzzer-beater to win a basketball game at the last minute—that’s the kind of inspiring thing I can get behind, you know? Jack will never shoot a buzzer-beater during a game.…
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