Archive for October 2019
Things I Wish I Had Known When My Son Was Diagnosed With Autism
THINGS I WISH I HAD KNOWN WHEN MY SON WAS FIRST DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM: To tackle guilt from the very beginning. To focus on self-care earlier on. To make finding peace a priority. To not judge my beginnings so harshly. To focus on the good more, even when it was hardest to find. To stand up for myself sooner. To realize that the child I have right now is not the child I will have a year from now. To stop worrying so much about my child. He will be…
Read MoreDo You Stay?
Picture this. You are in a relationship. It’s new and exciting. There’s so much potential! Oh, all the things that you will do together. You will grow together, learn from each other and your love will grow. They love you so much. You can tell. They get comfort from your hugs and you love doing things for them. They light up when you enter the room. It’s all so lovely! Picture this. They stop talking to you. Car rides are silent. It’s like a one way street. You try and…
Read MoreSoon, You’ll Get Better
“It will get better.” Words I hear on a daily basis. From loved ones. From other Autism parents. Ones that have more years in this journey than I do. The ones I call veterans. Better? What does that even mean? I think “better” means something different for everyone. I used to think that about my Dad. I’d convince myself that his Cancer wasn’t that bad. For five years he fought a war he really couldn’t win. In the end Cancer took everything…including his life. But for five years..especially the last…
Read MoreWhen “It’s Fine” Means “It’s Not Fine”
When Mason’s therapists and I hit a roadblock, I turned to my special needs support group for ideas on why Mason was so apt to keep his brother from enjoying anything outside of watching Mickey Mouse. Why did he follow his brother around non-stop? Parenting and scolding, every second of every day? Why did he feel so entitled to every toy in the house, even those he most definitely disliked? Then someone had a brilliant, but heartbreaking suggestion. Maybe Mason had realized that his brother was surpassing him in some…
Read MoreEvery Single Day I Choose Joy
I read a comment today from a follower who said I was glossing over the hard parts. I’ve been thinking about it all day. It’s a funny comment from where I’m sitting actually. Most people tell me I’m too negative. They find the realities of my world to be depressing. Even though they are indeed, the realities of so many. Here is what I will tell you. I’m not glossing over the hard. It’s here, right under the surface. Always ready to creep in. And at any moment, if I…
Read MoreMy Plea, Please Don’t Criticize a Child in a Stroller
Here is my plea, from a mom. Please, pretty, please, don’t criticize a child, a teen, or an adult who is riding in a stroller. Even if they appear ‘normal. A few weeks ago, our family was out for a walk. I was carrying the baby on my chest in a carrier, Sawyer was riding his bike, and Jamie was pushing Cooper in the stroller. This was a pretty big deal for us. Just a short time ago we were unable to go for walks. But we practiced. We made…
Read MoreRemoving the Pressure of Halloween
As special needs parents, certain things matter to us. Maybe it’s the perfect family photo or having a birthday party or your child with needs attending church for a sibling’s baptism. I want to tell you, it’s okay to care about these things. It’s okay to want to try, and continuing to try. Because if you are like me, it’s about helping your child to be successful and ultimately your family. That’s how a holiday like Halloween is for me. It’s about so much more than the costume and the…
Read MoreThe 7 Stages of Special Needs Parenting
The first stage is denial, it wouldn’t happen to you, Your perfect little baby, you won’t believe it’s true. They can laugh, they can count; They’re so happy, so smart, But you have a sinking feeling, deep inside your heart. There’s something just not right, and other people see, ‘Oh look at how she moves her hands!’ And ‘It’s like she can’t hear me’ You mention it to someone, they say ‘No, I don’t think so’ But time passes and even they see the signs starting to show. Stage 2 is realisation that…
Read MoreI just Focused on Making Life Easier
This morning my son slept in until 7:30. That is unheard of for him. To say at age 8 we’ve had our fair share of sleep struggles is the understatement of the century. We live sleep struggles. But lately, we have some days that are better. Easier. Traditionally, he wakes up before 4 am, comes in our room, sets all of his treasures and blankets on the floor next to our bed, undresses, turns all the lights on, goes potty in our bathroom, and then stands next to my bed…
Read MoreDoes Autism Last Forever?
A few days ago, my middle son Sawyer and I took a drive to meet Grandma and Grandpa. They had the baby overnight so this mama could finally sleep through the night. It was delightful. I slept 12 hours. Anyhow, the drive was just under 45 minutes which means 45 minutes that I get to hear about Pokémon cards, hockey, school and life from a six year old. And I love every second of it. This last year has went so fast. I feel like Sawyer grew up overnight, already…
Read More