Archive for October 2019
My Son, I Will Never Give Up
As I sit here watching you sleep, I keep thinking of the life I had envisioned for us. God it is so different than our life now. I saw football games, school plays and parties. Sleepovers with 3 or 4 wild and crazy boys driving me batty. Pulling spiders and bugs out of your jeans pockets and me freaking out and telling you to take them outside. I saw myself being a den mother because you told me you wanted to be in boy scouts like all of your friends.…
Read MoreAlways Read The Chart
I brought my dog Chloe to the vet tonight. She has an ear infection. I was dreading bringing her. See, a month or so ago I brought my other dog here because he was sick. And he never came home. I’m not over it. Not even close. Now I know to some people dogs are just dogs. But to me, he was my first baby, my constant, and my happiest hello. Putting him to sleep was traumatic for me. And not just the process. For starters I had never done…
Read MoreA Baby After Autism
As I was looking at our recent family photos, I started thinking about all the joy this baby has brought to our family. And how I can’t really remember a time before him. In a way, he healed us. He healed the wounds that weren’t necessarily visible on the surface. He’s the brother Sawyer dreamed of. Sawyer spends so much time kissing him. Holding him. And talking to him. He’s told me, ‘I’m not lonely anymore mama.’ And then there is Cooper. The one I was the most nervous about.…
Read MoreTwo Brothers, Both Perfect
From day one, my boys have been entirely different. One loves playing, sports, friends, toys, eating, and sleeping. The other one…not so much. One loves parades, fireworks, Easter egg hunts and carving pumpkins. So much so that he can hardly stand waiting. Pumpkin carving is supposed to be happening tonight, when the whole family is here. But he can’t stand it. He’s just so excited. It’s the first thing he asked for this morning when he woke up and his immediate request when he got off the bus. The other one…
Read MoreGive Your Child A Voice
This morning I had a conversation with my nonverbal son. A real one without words. To all of the mamas and dads out there with children who do not speak verbally, hang on. Never give up hope. Keep working towards functional communication. I sat on the couch drinking my coffee. He sat next to me immersed in his trains. I asked him if something happened at school yesterday. He grunted ‘yea.’ I asked him if there was a little boy who frustrates him. He grunted ‘yea.’ Now this isn’t the…
Read MoreA Pick-Me-Up for the Parent of a Newly Diagnosed Child
We’re pretty new to this whole scene. We had our “Autism Ah-ha moment” about 6 months ago. My son has no creative speech, eats his five favorite foods, and sleeps sporadically. He won’t look you in the eye and he’s uncomfortable in a crowd. I used to feel stymied. I was consistent with nap and bedtimes, why was he still sleep deprived? I took the pediatrician’s advice and offered him a variety of foods multiple times, why wouldn’t he eat? Before I understood how my son experiences the world, I…
Read MoreMy Son was Assaulted and he Couldn’t Tell Me
A while back my son was kicked by a person that was supposed to be caring for him. It happened one day and I didn’t find out until the next. He came home from school like any other day. He was happy. He was smiling. He asked for a cookie and his Kindle. We played. Had dinner. Took a walk and then a bath. And he went to bed. I had no idea he had been kicked multiple times at school that day. The next morning I received a phone…
Read MoreAn Amazing Brother
Things I said to my son Sawyer on our family walk: 1. Wait up. Hurry up. Wait for me. Stay close. Stay on the path. That is not a trail. 2. Please stay out of the puddles. Seriously dude, must you jump in every single puddle. 3. Sawyer, put your shoes on. You are going to hurt your feet. 4. No, I didn’t bring a band-aid for your foot. I told you you’d get hurt walking barefoot. 5. I love it so much. (He gave me 3 super cool rocks…
Read MoreThings The Stress My Husband Out As A Parent:
Things that stress my husband out as a parent: 1. Cheeto hands touching the walls and furniture. 2. Slime. 3. Candy wrappers on the floor, couch, table. 4. Screaming and crying in the car. 5. Kids messing around in the garage near the vehicles. Especially on bikes. 6. Hockey sticks, bats, swords in the house. 7. Crumpled up socks tossed on the floor. 8. Messy vehicles. Especially mine. 9. When his tools aren’t put back and when he can’t find a tool (or really anything) in general. 10. When fruit…
Read MoreA Visit to the Dentist
If you would have told me a year ago that my son and I would walk calmly into a dentist’s office, check in, wait patiently in the waiting room watching Moana, walk calmly to the room, and lie in the chair I would have thought you were crazy. And if you would have went onto to tell me that my son would have his teeth flossed and brushed with no problems, and after allow the dentist to do his exam, I would have probably thought you were really crazy. Parents…
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