Archive for July 2019
Join Coop’s Troop, Our Online Community
A few years ago I decided to start a Facebook page for my blog, Finding Cooper’s Voice. I started it so I could have a place to share all of my autism related posts, and not overwhelm my friends. In less than two years, I have nearly 500,000 followers. It’s amazing. Some days I’m still surprised by the amazing response. I’ve built a community that I am proud of and love. But, with hope and support comes negativity and bullying. I guess that is the nature of social media. So,…
Read MoreWe Don’t Dwell on the Hard, but we do Acknowledge it
I often think people assume that my husband and I dwell on the hard parts of autism because we choose to share them publicly. I’ve been asked if our life is sad. Or been told that I clearly need therapy. That I’m depressed and need medication. Or my favorite…that I’m negative. That one makes me giggle. A little secret for you. We don’t dwell. We aren’t sad. We don’t wallow in pity. But we do acknowledge the hard. The very real hard parts of raising a child with a lifelong…
Read MoreThe Extra Mile Dad
You. What would I do without you? The father of my children who goes the extra mile. We have an extra mile child. He has extra needs. We are learning together. Learning how to best parent our sweet boy. Together. We have our bumpy times walking this extra mile. We may not agree, we may not yet understand, we both are sleep deprived. We keep going. When our son was diagnosed I know how hard it was for you. You were in Afghanistan when I was on the phone telling…
Read MoreA Dad’s Letter to his Nonverbal Son
Dear Cooper, I remember the moment it truly hit me that your autism was forever. And not just a word. Or a thing that other people’s kids had. It wasn’t when your mom told me that something seemed off. Or when she did the checklists late at night. I remember I got so mad at her. I defended you. I listened to her say things like nonverbal and delayed and I refused to believe that was you. I couldn’t figure out why she was looking for something that simply wasn’t…
Read MoreIs he Happy Mama?
We were driving home from the birthday party. I glanced in my rearview mirror at Sawyer. He was red cheeked with messy hair. I saw leftover pizza and frosting on his face. He was clutching his giftbag. And I was hoping there wasn’t a whistle inside. I hate whistles. He was talking to his baby brother who was in the carseat next to him. ‘Did you see me jump buddy? I almost touched the sky! You saw me climb the rocks. I was scared though. I don’t like to be…
Read MoreNavigating the Autism Maze
When I first learned our sweet, beautiful daughter had autism I felt as if a tsunami had swept me up, taking with it my family’s happiness and peace. I thought from here on, our life would be limited to therapies and hardships. I was frightened and uncertain about our now shaky future. Would our almost three year old daughter ever be able to fully communicate? What type of relationship could she and I have as she grew older? She blends in now, but what sort of behaviors might she develop…
Read MoreNot the Summer I Expected
I am a special ed teacher. I am so fortunate to have my summers off. I look forward to them. After April vacation the countdown begins. I get to spend time with my boys doing all the things they love; going to the beach, swimming, playgrounds, hanging with their cousins and my friends’ children. Only this will not be the case for one of my sons. My 3 year old Dominic will spend a 32 hours a week at his ABA center. He will go to occupational therapy. This hit…
Read MoreLetting him Experience Life without Me
This one. This one right here. He was the little for almost six years. Now he’s the middle. In a way he’s always been the oldest. He knows that. I know that. It used to be unspoken about. Until one day he asked me. He said, ‘I’m the older brother, aren’t I mom?’ I smiled. I cried. I hugged him. He knew. He loves fishing, riding bike, playing baseball and hockey. He loves being away from home. Being gone. Doing stuff. Socializing. He has no time for movies or iPads.…
Read MoreWaiting for a Diagnosis
Before we had our third baby we knew there was a chance. When I googled, it said something like a 25% chance. That number felt high. Really high. So high, that my husband and I fought about it. We cried about it. We debated. We rationalized. We prayed about it. One day I would say let’s go for it. And he would say…we can’t handle two kids with special needs. The next week I would be exhausted from therapies and behaviors and say…we can’t risk it. Two kids is perfect.…
Read MoreI’m Not Scared Anymore
My dear, sweet Harper. Where do I even begin. You were my first born, my first true love. When I found out that I was pregnant, I thought about all of the things that you would do. I wondered what you would be like. Would you be smart like your Daddy, sassy like your Mama? Would you play t-ball, go to dances, have a girlfriend, go to college, get married, have children of your own? I pictured it all. In my head…I could see it. I could see you, out…
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